I am new to this forum and I am really searching at this point. I am an alcoholic who on her first attempt to maintain sobriety managed to stay sober almost a year. I changed people, places and things and managed to crawl out of the dark hole of despair I was living in and never thought I would get out. Had been attending meetings. Work got in the way of my schedule and meetings took a back seat and ultimately so did my sobriety because one day I said what I was terrified I would one day say - a few drinks won't be so bad no one will know. Since that drink the longest clean time I have managed at best is 3 weeks. I have disappointed everyone but mostly myself. I have no energy to do the next right thing. I am on meds but just can't jump start what I know I need to save my life. I'm scared!
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AA is a religious cult dressed up to look like a treatment for alcoholism. AA takes advantage of vulnerable people for the purpose of unsolicited religious indonctrination. The whole thing is very dishonest... It's a complete mind fuck.
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...