I am an alcoholic, i'm only freaking 21 years old, and i'm already addicted. i wouldn't admit it before but in the past week, everyday during the day i have gone through severe withdrawal. for a long time i just thought that i was addicted to the idea of drinking, basically mentally addicted, but the withdrawal shows me that i am physically addicted. it's the same feeling i get when i miss my meds for more than 2 days, it's the same feeling i got when i would try to quit smoking, it's very familiar to me. there's only one big problem. it's fine and dandy that i will admit to my addiction, but i don't know if i actually want to stop. for almost 2 years i refused to admit that i was bulimic, i refused, but even after i finally admitted to it, i still did it, i was still bulimic, but i was just more aware of what i was doing. plus, i want to be a normal 21 year old, be able to go to a party and get shit faced drunk, but i can't just do it once in a while, so if i actually do something about this, i won't be able to go to a party and drink with my friends, i doubt i could go to a party at all. i missed out of my childhood and my teenage years were a living hell, i just want to be normal now that i'm an adult. normal for my age i should say. so, i took the first step, i admitted it, but i just don't think i'm ready to take that next step yet???
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