My son is 34 and has been in jail on a year and a half sentance for driving on a suspended and probation violation of his 5th DUI (felony of course) in Kansas. I live in Tennessee and have been able to afford to go visit him only a couple of times, but do write him once a week. He had been trying to get me to get him a hearing for a modification of his sentancing where he could get out early and go straight into residentail for 90 days. I asked him at the time why and he had a lot of I'm not gonnas and I won'ts when it came to (meetings and such)which through up a red flag for me as to his willingness to change. He called last nite and has decided since he only has 3.5 months to go he's not going to go for the modification. I asked him if he was going to go on to residential and he said no, that was only for the modification and he wasn't going to go to meetings or anything else that has to do with being a recovering alcohol abuser. When he gets out he has his old job at a fine italian restaurant to be a server and bartender again. Says that doesn't bother him to work there. He literally has nothing...and no place to live or anything when he gets out. I've shared with him my story of my dual-illness and reminded him of the alchohol abuse on his father's side of the family to plant the seed that he has a good chance of being dual-diagnosed also. I'm just beside myself and at a loss for words when it comes to him. My heart hurts so much right now! Believe me, I've tried it all and so has his father when it comes to tough love and such...but not enabeling. I have to be selfish when it comes to keeping my own self in check and not go against the principles and steps. I do attend meetings as aften as I can and love the ones I attend (DRA). Full of addicts, alcoholics and those suffering also with an emotional or psychiatric illness. Maybe if I see it written down I can retain it better. Comments...advice...anyone?
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