hi this my first try at this. iwrote most of this in my journal, but iwould like you folks input just the same. my wife has been taking antidepressants about 5 years. also we were self medicating on booze and pot. 4 weeks ago she quit drinking, cigarrets, and pot. 2 days before her incident she was loving and a lot like she was years back. we had great talks and enjoyed each others company. i was starting to respond to her also in a positive way. she did say i did not have to quit drinking, but if i would cut down she would like it. she had the incident and her sister brought her home 2 days later. she was craving asmoke, but she couldn't even roll it. she then threatened her sister with a punch in the face. my sisterinlaw asked if she could take my wife home with her for 2 weeks. i agreedthat it was best. my wife started out a week into sobriety, saying that she did not know where we would be in a year,but she could not come back home. she still loves me but she don't like me. she has not said this to me, but i can tell. i went crazy doing everything, but what was good for us. i have not had a full24 hr day where i have had nothing to drinkin in 20 years. these past 4 weeks idrank from get up to get down. i have beat myself up with what i have done to cause this to her. my friends kept telling me i can't take all the blame, but did tell me i was an enabler who is also a drunk. i was not violent or abusive. i started reading what you guys were talking about and realized i did not have to go this alone. my goal for today was to not drink on waking up, and not during the day. i woke up at 4 am and i got home at 5 pm. i did not drink all day. my goal tomorrow is not drinking during the day and cut my self to 10 beers at night. i have been drinking 30 to 40 beers in a 24 hr period. if i was to quit like my wife i would go berserk like she did. she drank 6 to 10 a night. the law handcuffe her to a bed. the would have to do worse most likely. i do not want sympathy i want to quit and be with her again. thank you.
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