Hi, rainbowbubbles recommended that I come here. I actually had forgotten that I opened an account a while ago. I just didn't come back on. I went on a 4 day bender. Last Wednesday through Saturday. Tried to taper on Sunday and again yesterday. I didn't drink more than I intended. I have no insurance so I'm not quite sure what to do. Yesterday was 3 beers. I have a headache, feel shaky, very queasy. I feel angry that I don't WANT a drink right now but I can't think of any other way to go about this safely. I have been drinking a lot of water. I slept about 3 hours last night. I do take a benzo and have for a while. I never took them while drinking. They are prescribed and I take them as prescribed. I guess if I go to the ER what more can they give in terms of sedative? Not much. I get frightened of all the things I'm reading about withdrawal. Like pulmonary embolisms. I am anxious and very nervous. I'm not really having heart palpitations but my body aches. I don't feel like I can move more than two feet. When I was on londonppbb they asked if I had sugar in the house. I don't. No junk food. No sugar. No fruit. Go on a four day bender and I guess I just didn't get to the grocery shop. I live in a small town and the next AA meeting isn't until tomorrow. I don't know. I just feel like crying. Maybe I'm freaking myself out about dying all of a sudden but I NEVER want to feel this way again. I guess if I didn't have the Ativan I'd be worse but I have a tolerance for it as I've taken it for 10 years. Anyhow, sorry to go on so long. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I have never felt so sad.
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