I just watched a spongebob episode that was similiar to this situation. Squidward was mooching off of Spongebob and living at his house as he lost his job. Spongebob was nice at the beginning, but then ended up hating Squidward because he did nothing but take up space. Holy moly, you know what to do dear Brian.......skittadle that squid!

Brian, your friend is making his own choices. I know you respect and love him. Possibly in your mind, you need him. The guilt must be given to our Higher God for yourr higher good. Perhaps an arrangement can be made to be satisfactory and comfortable. You have been through so much and~ just my opinion, I would let him go. Peacefully and friendly... Do not anger and burn a bridge for such a personal friend regardless of the situation right now. Brian.. Think of YOU not him. You need to have the joy of your recovery without negative influences. Love ya. xx

Well, as much as you care for him, he has to look outside himself and see the bind you're in. That's what true friends do. If this is hard on you and makes life difficult then it's time to tell him 'I wish I could help but I honestly can't right now'. You have to put yourself and your daughter first. If he's loyal he'll remain so. Sorry this is so difficult.

This is a tough spot for you to be in for sure! Guess all you can do is put that nice sense of humor of yours to work, and tell him how you put it above...Either we go get a bigger place, or you stay here and I kill you! Just gotta be honest. I wouldn't want to be in that situation...that is a long time friendship though, and surely he would understand your financial struggle right now, as well.

I bet if you put that dress on and started flirting with him, you wouldn't have to even ask him to leave! Also mention that you know of a fence the two of you could visit. (o;

follow the heart and if need be grow a huge set of balls. learn to say "no".

My balls are huge...it's the other piece that could use some work.

Bri- I dated a guy who had that prob.... He took the "blue diamonds" Whoooooo! They were quite magical!

what's "blue diamonds"? i might need that for further reference. hopefully. i'm a born again virgin so one never knows. best to be prepared though.......

Viagra darling :)

It isnt always possible to carry someone else when we are in a difficult situation ourselves. You gave him a chance to contribute and he chose not to.

Also you might be doing him a favour though it might not be obvious now. While you take all the responsibility and carry him he has no incentive to do things for himself whereas if you cut him loose it might be the push he needs to get his sh*t together.

Sometimes things that seem harsh are the most loving things we can do.

Take care of yourself.

You have done more for this guy than most people would and maybe the relationship si not too healthy as he is a grown man. It may be the most loving thing you can do for both of you if you cut him loose!

I guess I'm codependent to a degree. If I run him off, he'll just go live in his van and never try and better his situation. Why should I think I can change him after all these years? But on his behalf, he would give the shirt off his back, his last dime (if he had one) and would die for you if he could. He's intensely loyal and he watches over my daughter like a hawk. My ex trusts him completely and he has literally saved my life once. I just gave him some money (which I couldn't afford) so he could go buy some parts for his van. If his van is running, maybe he'll take the hint and leave. He slept in it last night as my daughter was here. He knows I'm pretty stressed right now and I also just had a little tiff with my ex. Maybe I can finally let go of her now too. But you what? I'm not drinking over any of this.

Good for you! Don't you do it! (o; Hugs, and hope everything works out for you, and that you have NO guilt! Only Peace!

i must say im sorry for ur situation but u have a daughter to raise and bills of ur own..if this guy is the friend u say he is he'll understand..he has to get some independence if not he will not know how to live.its not healthy for him or you..since i got sober i found honesty is the best policy and that i have to look out for myself first or im no benefit to anyone..tell him whats going on and how you feel..the rest is on him..im glad ur not drinking ..treat urself kindly..and if he decides to live in his van..well thats his choice u've gave him options..hugsz

honey, i've been letting the smart people respond to this post, but I realized just now that, even if I don't feel I have wisdom for you, my heart so surely goes out to you. You are a delightful, smart, funny man. My heart aches for you. I want to see you around here for a long long time. If affection and admiration could carry you, you would be floating high above all the pain right now.

Big ol southern hugs to you hon