
Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

deleted_user
Hi everyone, im new to this site, but what a god send it is. Im not the only wife of a alcoholic like I thought I was. My husband has drunk for the last sixteen years, he cant stop, even though the next day he knows hes broken my three children and my hearts. He keeps going and going. He dosnt come home stinking drunk, but the times he has he has called me names infront of them, punched walls and broken his hand, he has even come home beaten up from the KFC whilst getting the kids a take-away coz he picked on the wrong one. And when I tell him he has a drinking problem, after all these years, he still says im mad and nagging. Ive forgiven him every single time based on the promise that he will never do it again. Im stupid but I want to give my children a proper family, I think that everytime he says he wont drink again, well its possible isnt it? if I dont try then how will I know? and its not long before im calling myself an idiot. But I carry on why? please can someone tell me why? am I really that stupid? something in me tells me that I can change him, and the other is telling me he doesnt love me enough or otherwise he would change, seek help. I tell him all the time look at yourself in the mirror, for sixteen years youve been doing this ask yourself why. Oh is there anybody else out there like me, why cant I break away I know he has a problem even if he dosent admit to it or even realise it. Surely he does, deep down, he must do he certainly knows its wrong the day after, yet on the same day in the evening he will pick up the pint glass again. Please someone tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if exit is only big enough for me and my kids. The thing that I get most angry about is when he comes home stinking of beer and says he hasnt touched a drop. Isnt deception and lying part of being an alcoholic? xxxxxx.

deleted_user
oh my god!! when i read your story i thought it was somthing I'd written myself! i to only joined this site today but already i feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders. i am sure you husband loves you deeply but unfortunatly he is in the grasp of a terrible demon. it is o longer something he can control but something that controls him. this does not make it right nor does it excuse his behavior but i feel it helps me understand. only when he hits rock bottom will he to understand. also my husband will swear blind he has not touched a drop and if i question him he becomes verbally agresive. the only way i feel i can overcome this is to not question him when he has had a drink but to wait till the morning. i am sure he will lie through his teeth telling you he didn't have a drink but the risk of aggresion is lessened. your safety and that of your children is the most important. i would love to chat to you more- i am sure we have loads in comman x

deleted_user
Yes..lying and dishonesty is a part of alcoholism. A person in the midst of their addiction CANNOT be honest or even present for you or their families. This is what I would suggest. Get to an AlAnon meeting..find an AlAnon sponsor..someone who can help you through this time. Your spouse is not going to change until they hit bottom and decide for themselves that they need to change. You need to work on you, through the AlAnon program you can. I know that sounds crazy but it is true. Alcoholism is a family disease.

ktharp423
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yes, lying is a huge part of alcoholism. You need to attend alanon, you can't control him no matter what you do, but you could change how you respond to him. This site doesn't have an alanon discussion group, it does have a codependency discussion group if that helps. Good Luck.

deleted_user
Thanks so much for your reply, yes I would love to chat to you more, it does sound like we have a lot in common. Part of this is probably my fault, you see I have breast cancer, I had a double mastectemy and reconstruction and I dont feel like I am the little thing that used to hold his hand many years ago, sometimes I think this is why he drinks. Probably rubbish but sometimes you feel its your fault dont you? why can you stop him?. I have tried to question him the morning after, but he still denies it and he makes me so angry. I feel I have given him so much that I have nothing left to give. Anyway, whats your story? I would love to help if I could. I dont really understand the workings of this site yet nor do I know if I can e.mail you directly or if you would like me to. Im here if you wanna chat. I called Alanon last night and am going to their meeting on Wednesday, I feel I need some support now and I dont know which way to turn, im hoping they can help me. Take Care (dont know if this is allowed but my name is Jane)

deleted_user
Hello Jessie, I too also just joined this site and your story is so close to mine its scarey. The difference is that my husband stays at home and does the same thing. I have been called names, had holes punched in stuff, the house torn up, the kids scarred to death and we seem to be the ones with the problem not the man choosing the easy way out of problems so he doesnt have to face reality. Read my page and you will see what I mean. If anyone else cares to read it and let me know if they have similar problems please let me know that I'm not crazy and just a bitch like I've been told.

deleted_user
Hi Jessie2, I too have a similar story to yours. My husband has been an alcoholic for nine years. He lies to me, takes money from me to the point that we have no food in the house, I now have to hide my purse from him. I'm still here, desperately wanting to believe him, knowing I will be devastated again. I know only too well the confusion that you are feeling, how can someone love you and carry on making your life a living hell, why don't they get help? I have asked myself this time and time again. People on here are wonderful and after listeneing to other peoples stories I have come to the conclusion that I have to start thinking about what is best for me, but I am finding the reality very painful.
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