I realize alcohol has become a huge problem in my life. I use it to relieve my depression and loneliness. Although it doesnt really "help", it still puts me in a state of mind that will make me forget. And I like it. Anytime Im drunk it can be a scary experience, especially when I get really paranoid and feel vulnerable, but I cant help it. I like not feeling the depression and letting my personality come alive, not having a care in the world. I KNOW this is bad. I know it's not really "helping" anything, but if this is how I can escape just for a little, then I want it in my life. I dont want to give it up. How am I supposed to get help? Im not in denial, but I dont want anything to change.
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