I wrote this morning with the clarity once again that I should chose not to drink tonight. I explained before that yesterday I was so hungover (for the first time in years), that I literally could not drink yesterday....which was the first day I hadnt drank in a very long time. I have so much guilt, I cant stand it. I know drinking is bad for me, my body, my kids. I hide behind the fact that I can keep a job, fool the neighbors, and only drink once the kids are in bed......well, they are about to go to bed now...and I have been pissed since about 3pm knowing that I wasnt planning on drinking again tonight, and now that seems impossible. I feel totally sensitive to light and sounds, and just want my escape. Is this what alcoholism feels like? Is every day this hard?
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