It sounds like you're sick of you. That's what it took for me. Not just being sick and tired of drinking but being sick and tired of me. I couldn't argue ANYTHING anymore. I got to a meeting and said I'm done and I need help. Good luck my friend!

cabby cant tell you how many times my ass has fallen off but i never gave up this disease wants me dead you can do this you just gotta do the work it sucks make some calls ask for help its thier if you want it ill pray for you peace

I had to come to a place where it was do it for me or die. I was sick all the time and I hated the asshole in the mirror.
My heart was getting really bad and they were giving me pills for that. Then, tranquilizers for my nerves. I'm glad I didn't get into those.
I have been sober for, ( I was gonna say only) 64 DAYS! and I don't have to take the heart stuff anymore. I was going through withdrawel every night so I drank when I was awake.
I don't feel sick all the time and although I'm not madly in love with the person in the mirror, I don't hate her anymore.
If you can't do 24 hours, break the day down into managable chunks. When I started sometimes it was a minute at a time. You can do this and you are not alone in this.

Sounds like your sick and tired of being sick and tired. Whats your next move. For me it was rehab then AA. Helped a lot and still does.

Hi, you ask God to help you, have you ever tried thanking Him for loving you and asking Him to help yourself love yourself a little bit more. He has already forgiven you, perhaps you should thank him for the persecution an utter agony He suffered on that cross for you, so that you didn't have to. Get on your knees, then stand up and walk. Everything you need is within you> Try reading St. Johns book every day. It will guide you, then try starting from Matthew and read the whole of the New testament. Jesus said, come unto Me all yea that labour and are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. Go to Him, but not in desperation but in gratitude. God bless you, Carol.

you have a disease that wants you dead-it tells you you don't have a disease or that you can stop at one or maybe just wean yourself off etc. i did and said all of those things and when i kept waking up in pee-stained beds and my hands shook so bad i could not button a shirt and that terrible fear and anxiety;i would enter treatment.stayed, loved it, never going to do it again and guess what-i did it again and got the same results.self-loathing is just part of the deal. and i believe you do become teachable when you simply run out of moves.i tried suicide and could not even get that right. the one thing i knew was i could not go the way i was living and death did not seem in the cards as i'd tried so many times and so many different ways. i still lived.i had to do something different but it took me years and years of the very same pattern. don't give up-what you are going through is what a great many of us have done.your time will come. hold on. love,devonh

I really want to go to rehab but I can't afford it can't take time off of work ( if I still have a job ) Is there anyway?

I have done the relaps dance myself a few times as much as this weekend ive beed around the program a long time and finaly heard somthimg today a desire to stop drinking u cant do it but god can if your heart is real about wanting to stop i finaly heard that today after over 20yrs and a few relaps keep ur head up brush ur self off and hit somemeetings

I know exactly how u feel i went to work drunk today and has a few people tell my boss i smelled like a brewery i ended up having to leave came home broke down and just feel like giving up i feel my only friend is the bottle but as you know it only makes things worse. I hope you find the strength within yourself as well as i do to realize that you are special and many people luv you i will be here for you if you need a friend who understands exactly how u feel,i hope all goes well 4 u

We all know what it's like to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. If rehab isn't an option, I'd try AA and just share that you REALLY need help, that's what the oldtimers are there for.
You don't ever have to feel this way again, just get to a meeting.