My father has been drinking and doing drugs since he was 8 years old. His entire life. He is a mostly functioning drug addict. Never spent the rent money to get high, never dissapeared for days, none of the things you see on TV that comes to mind when you think drug addict. He also isn't addicted to anything specific. Just being high. The most consistent thing is alcohol. He is a full blown alcoholic. He also has gotten sober many times when he needed to. Pass a UA, fool the courts, to prove a point. No rehab or anything to assist will just stop. He believes this shows he doesn't have a problem and he isn't like any of the other addicts. He has been to AA, groups, and rehabs many times for various reasons such as to get his liscense back or to look good for a judge so he is very familiar with the programs and what they have to say. He can pretty much teach the class.
He also has some mental disorders. I know he has anti social personality disorder but I am not sure what else. He went to therapy when I was younger to prove to the judge he was fit to parent but he thinks it is all a joke and it's all a load of crap. He has been declining for years now. He had a career years ago and that was messed up and he has had a few jokes since then but he his main goal for the last couple years has been to work for himself and have his own flooring business which he is really good at. He started to have back problems which have gotten severe to the point where he couldn't get out of bed many days and flooring is very hard on his body. His drinking started to get very bad because of this. He would drink at work to make it threw the day. He messed up many good contracts because of drinking at work. Work was becoming very hard to come back making his financial situation extremely stressed. He was getting very depressed, without his using his body for work he has nothing. When he was drunk he started saying suicidal things. He started doing meth on a regular basis to keep up and keep motivated. He has done meth for years just randomly. Not dailey or anything just when the occasion would come up. He was hopeless and preparing for his end.
After months of pushing and begging I finally got him to get a medical card so he can go get his back fixed. We found out he has three ruptered disc in his neck and one is his back. The three in his neck were pinching his spinal cord, he was one wrong move away from being paralyzed for life. He got the surgery to correct it but with this surgery there are many things he will never be able to do again. He will never be able to do the labor he was doing before or the physical activities he loves so much. My father is very active and adventerous, loves outdoor activies. There is also a degree of pain that will more than likely never go away now. I love my father and I take care of him in every way I can but I have not doing anything to stop the drinking or drug use.
I am trying to take care of him the best I can and do what is best for him and I just don't know what that is anymore. How can I even ask this man to be sober? When he is sober he is in pain and miserable. He is in so much pain he can't do anything for himself or even be apart of anything. Misses out on everything. When he is drinking and doing drugs he at least can manage to clean his own house or go out long enough to be apart of a holiday event. There will always be this level of misery with the drugs and alcohol though. There is not a chance of therapy, he doesn't believe in it. How can I tell him to go to drug counciling, he knows the steps front and back. But even if he does get sober what then? He is so miserable and hopeless he just kills himself? I feel guilty, I feel like I am not trying hard enough. I am scared I am just letting him ruin himself. But if this is the rest of his life, I feel like any little bit of happiness his self medicating brings is all he has left. I don't want to take that from him.
I just want to say thank you to everyone in this group who has ever offered support and advice. I not only have struggled with being an alcoholic,but I have major depression and anxiety as well. I feel completely alone with my issues at home. My family and friends have been supportive but they don't truly know what I've gone through. But even when I feel alone like that,I can always come here and...
so today we would have had a wedding to go together , and obviously I am not going . Sick part is he is going on his own because he can’t fuck over his friend . This couple had come to our wedding in June . I don’t understand how he can go to a wedding at the same venue we got married see people we both know and not feel embarrassed or anything when people I am sure are going to ask where I...