Everyone has their own bottom, it does not have to involve a DWI, losing a job, home, spouse. We decide what our bottom is and when it's time to get help.
When you ask for a drink and you want a soda, just say you want a soda. That way you don't have to blame your friends for giving you a beer when you want a soda. I'm always specific and I hang out with mostly non-drinkers. When you go to a restaurant do you ask the server for a drink and let them decide what to bring you?
I'm sorry to be sarcastic, but you're blaming your peers for the amount of alcohol you're consuming. When you say 'people think' you could handle an absorbitant amount of alcohol I'm assuming you're including yourself.
Again, it's up to you to decide if you're an alcoholic, but I've found that if you're questioning your drinking habits, there is a good chance you are one. Have you tried AA? You could sit in an open meeting and listen, you don't have to identify yourself as an alcoholic. See if you identify with what's being said. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.

There's another post titled 20 questions that will help you determine whether or not your an alcoholic. A high tolerance for alcohol as well as blackouts are warning signs. Remember, alcoholism is a progressive disease. The bums you see on skid row are not your typical alcoholic. I, in fact, was rather high functioning (for an alcoholic). In retrospect, I see how it really did affect my career and my home life. I never called in sick, went in drunk, or hit my kids but I did perform below my capability on both fronts.

well I'd never blame anyone, I just happened to notice that one day, that my preferred drink is alcohol. And yes, I do tend to think I can handle the drink. and I did do the 20 questions deal. 8/20, when I see a lot of those posts saying fifteen, nineteen, and twenty, so I kind of have mixed feeings on that one as well.

I agree that you don't have to be an obvious drunk to be an alcoholic. I relaped after 6 yrs. sober and thought I was "controlling" my drinking for the past two years.

I agree with morgainev that regular drinking keeps you from reaching your potential (or even getting close to it).

Also, a therapist I've been seeing said something that really hit home. When you ingest a depressant on a daily basis, even if the amount isn't necessarily a lot, the net effect long-term is (duh) it makes you more depressed!

After that conversation, I knew I would have to try to get sober again. It took a couple of weeks to start to let go, but today I'm three weeks sober.

Tomorrow, I start an outpatient program (three nights a week for three hours each night), which is something I didn't do the first time around.

There are no easy answers, but if you are questioning whether or not you are an alcoholic, you already know...

The eternal question is....are you an alky? Well on your way? Or just a young man sewing his wild oats? But no one can answer this for you, there is no scientific test to determine it , so only time will tell. Unfortunately, unless it's scenario number three, you are looking at a lot of unhappiness in your future.
As other people have pretty insightfully noted--the fact that you're evaluating your drinking is in of itself a warning sign--people who don't have any issues w/alcohol and just have a drink (note A drink not TEN drinks)here and there never even really think about it one way or another (or so I've heard....I don't think I ever had just one drink at a sitting!!)Also the blackouts, again, are a bad prognostic indicator....people w/ a predisposition toward problem drinking/alcoholism tend to experience them more (I'll have to look up the pathophysiological reason for this again....I forget). The bottom line is, drinking is counterproductive to an effective life (I always found it so hard to manipulate those damn calculus equations when my BAC was above 0.2!! :) ) and can be ultimately devastating to your health (despite what the red wine industry would have us think about how it helps cardiac health--the type of extremely light drinking they are talking about is practiced by about 2% of the population--and if you have more than one drink a day (2 for guys), you've eradicated any health benefit).
Only you can decide for yourself where you're at with this--it looks like you're still associating some good times and fun with your drinking at this point, and unfortunately, that makes it really hard to rationalize quitting--however, if you ARE an alcoholic, it will become definitively NOT fun at some point, and then it will be extremely difficult (if not impossible) to stop.
I wish you luck--I regret that I did not have the insight to examine my own drinking at your age--it would have saved me years of misery--but four years sober now, and life is exponentially better for me (even if I am a "slow learner"!!)