Don't we all wish we had a nannycam to record and instill in our minds how we fuC^&ed up the night before. My husband often says it lol. Thats guilt, god bless it, that keeps us clean

Think of what the WORST thing possible that can or will happen if you don't quit.
That's what got me to quit.
I couldn't lose my husband and kids.
I just COULDN'T (even tho I have in the end) but initially, that's what got me to quit.
I don't have a CLUE on what keeps me quitting.
Yes, I do....it's because all those years of sobriety is all I have now to be proud of myself for.
Hmmmmm......maybe I better not find something ELSE that makes me proud of myself, huh?

er ... you can't be taught to remember and never to forget, that's kinda like the point!!!

Big Book page 24:

'We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.'

Carole if guilt kept me sober I would only ever have gotten drunk once!!!

Well Karen, as an MD I can tell you of the many people I see in your same situation....

If a woman remembered the pain of childbirth she probably would never do that again huh. The memory of some pains are fleeting. And we don't bother to "play the tape all the way through". If we just look at the good parts (if there still is with your drinking) and not force our memories of the consequences, then we are apt to do it again.

That, Karen, is only my humble professional opinion. The bill will be in the mail Moday.

For me the lesson of how to remember was one I could never learn and even if I did remember I would still end up drinking. That is why the description in the Big Book stating that the problem of the alcoholic centres in the mind made such sense to me. As did the quote about being unable to remember with sufficient force that serenity94 posted.

There is also another quote in the book which explains things for me.

"But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parellel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all honesty and sincerity, how it could have happened"

That is why I needed to work the 12 steps to sort out that insane thinking and find a way to not pick up the first drink that didnt rely on me.

A few people seem to acheive it without the steps but i am not a person that could stop drinking based on my memory of bad things, fear, guilt or anything else. It sometimes worked for a while for me, but never very long. I had to find another way.

I hazard a guess that if you could have been taught how to remember you would have learnt it by now. Have you thought about trying another way?

maybe your a real alcoholic

I would hate to watch me drunk...just hearing about it the next day is bad.

Dan, that makes a lot of sense. I will try to force the memory of the pain to my plate, before I drink. Damn hard to do tho! Like, you said, the memory of childbirth...once it's over it's gone. Thanks

4mytasha...yeah...maybe you SHOULDN'T do any flower planting. Thanks for the advice!

Serinity, isn't it something tho how it's just gone...the memory. And like you said, " if guilt kept me sober I would only ever have gotten drunk once!!!" If only...!

Thanks all!

Here's David Hasslehoff. His daughter did this for HIM.

It's not that the memory goes anywhere other than to the memory banks, it's our recollection that is the problem. We are unable to bring it to mind with sufficient force, therefore the memory is still there but the way we recall it, just doesn't have the required power to stop us from repeating that same desperate behaviour of the first drink!

oops, the youtube didn't work...oh well.

Dave, you know I am, like I know I am. This is me, Karen, we are talking about. Oh the joys of being the real alcoholic. Damn it!

Nicky, that about made me cry. I keep trying it on my own...

think I'll get my head out of my ass and put it in the BB!

are you still drinking? if so why. try attending some 12 step meetings. by the sounds of it i would say you are an alcoholic.

The Big Book explains this failure of recall several times and in different ways. Here is yet another from p.37:

Here was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.

Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.

On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jaywalking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?

You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language-but isn't it true?

Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell is true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information."

That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly any exception, will be ABSOLUTELY UNABLE TO STOP DRINKING ON THE BASIS OF SELF-KNOWLEDGE. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.

My sponsor calls it a mental blind spot and gave me a practical example by drawing a cross on the left hand side of a sheet of A4 paper and a big dot on the right hand side.
She got me to hold the pad of paper at arms length and then slowly bring it towards me with my eye on the dot. Suddenly it disappeared. That is what happens in our minds we know it is there but we cannot see it when we need it.

Gailly, yeah, I recall this from the BB...read it not long ago...but I guess too long ago. Got to dust that book off yet again!!! Thanks

Wendy, am I still drinking? Yes. Why? Because I forget! That's what this thread is saying. And yeah, I KNOW I'm an alcoholic... the trouble...I'm a drunk who forgets!

I'm acting like a dumb ass! tho I'm not...I'm just not letting go, and as long as I don't...I am a dumb ass!

Always remember how it felt to wake up and remember the night before, how good did it feel? No shameful flash back, no thinking what did I say, no trying to remember who ive upset. Thats got to be worth remembering x

Keep coming back.

Lee, yeah...you would think that would be enough, yet it's not yet for me. My last sponsor taught me that, and I didn't listen after a while. He told me that we have to take more action, because the alcoholic in us does forget, does make excuses, does keep us sick. But I'm no AAer. I'm still...a HHer...Hard Head! Thanks

Dan, yeah! No shit...I think I better!