IF YOU DON'T DRINK FEELING ALL THE ANGER YOU DO, YOU HAVE PASSED A VERY IMPORTANT TEST! I HOPE YOUR EMOTIONAL PAIN DIMINISHES!

Welcome, I am so glad you are here.

Peace

Hi from what I read the founder of moderation management killed 2 ppl drinking and driving in a blackout. She now goes to aa. I remeber when she started that program she was on many a talk show downing aa. Godd luck with that. Oh and by the way posting what you did in some states might be considered terroristic threatening so its probably not a good thing to post on the internet. Just my 2 cents

This kind of anger scary. Maybe you need to start working the program so you can be free from this! It could eventually jail you or kill 'YOU' if you aren't careful. This is the kind of thing that always got me back to drunk!!!

Throw yourself into the 12 steps! Step 4 can relieve you of ALL of these resentments you talked about here!

You better want your sobriety bad enough or this is going to get you!

It doesn't have to be hard! For 10 years I was free from this kind of stuff and now I am free again.

You better want your sobriety, more than you want revenge!!

When it hurts bad enough there's help. But I had to be sick of ME (not she. him, them, it) before I could hear anything or anyone. I had to be out of "my next best ideas."

Ditto to Dave, the founder of MM was arrested for death by auto, she killed 2 people by drinking and driving. I guess that day she forgot to moderate her drinking.

I'm glad you didn't binge in 144 days, good luck whatever you decide to do.

Well drink and get high then...
why did u post your "poor me " story here at all?
My understanding is that this site is for people that are having a problem with booze and want to quit drinking...Maybe I am wrong...

If on the other hand you want some information about binge drinking...maybe consider this point of view ..

I take a drink and it activates a physical craving that takes over my body.. I want more to satisfy that initial craving, so i drink more and then the craving is getting worse and so on and so on...
when i finally crash/passout/ whatever...i "come to" with a bewilderment of whta the hell happened.. I only wanted a couple of drinks.. Then this mental obsession kicks in and i am thinking another drink will not hurt... but i don't want to get loaded drunk again...i wait and wait and wait... the anger,fears, anxiety,depression are all building...and building....and i KNOW a drink a will stop all that, just for a short time anyway....so I drink(binge) and start the whole cycle all over again...

Does this sound familiar ?

if so,, you might be like me.
A type 5 alcoholic.

Good luck with all your stuff and i sure hope we don't get to meet in some prison or mental institution soon.

God bless
botbotcoco
www.londonppbbs.com

Yep....reality is a bitch!

Ego deflating like hell when you wake up to the reality that the woman doesn't love you. Man, I can remember that pain. Of course that was 30 years ago, but I remember.

Keep coming back! And don't drink no matter what.

PS...Don't blame anyone but your "self". You have stuffed the truth for a long time.

Guru

HEY EVERYONE THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT.... ACTUALLY BOTBOTCOCO AND EVERYONE I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED A CHUNK OF THAT FROM ANGER MANAGEMENT... REALLY THE MIDDLE PART ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AT ALL.... IT DOES SOUND WHINY IN THIS CONTEXT... BUT I HOPE YOU DONT HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYTIME SOON.

IM CERTAINLY NOT A TYPE 5 LIKE YOU BUT PROBLEM DRINKER... BLACKOUTS ETC.... AND I DO WANT TO STOP... JUST GOING THRU SOME TOUGH STUFF RIGHT NOW & FIRST THINGS FIRST... HAVE STOPPED DRINKING TO EXCESS AND USING DRUGS ... 144 DAYS...

THAT IS WILD ABOUT MM. SO FAR I HAVE HAD MUCH BETTER SELF CONTROL AFTER STOPPING WITH THE DOPE... JUST A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE OR TWO ONCE A WEEK. IM MORE THE STYLE OF.. AFTER IVE HAD EIGHT, TEN DRINKS I CAN EASILY SLIP INTO LOST WEEKENDS. ITS A SLIPPERY SLOPE THOUGH I KNOW... THATS QUITE AN EYE OPENER

THANKS FOR INFO...HAVE BEEN LOOKING MORE SERIOUSLY AT 12 STEP... MEETINGS BEFORE HAVE MADE ME WANT TO DRINK.

THANKS GURU... FYI ACTUALLY WE LOVE EACH OTHER A LOT, ITS JUST A FUCKED UP SITUATION.... ITD BE EASIER IF SHE DIDNT LOVE ME OR VICE VERSA

THANKS PEACE

DB

I'm leaving someone that does what you do. That kind of rage, whether you are just venting or serious is terrifying. I don't know about your ex, but I can literally feel the mood of the whole house change. When he's drunk it's worse and instant.
As a result of this man's behaviour, I'm homeless and he has no-one that cares what happens to him anymore.
I hope you stay sober and consider some anger management. I went, it helped stop me from "exploding".
I'm scared of you just reading your post, please look into some help.

when we drink and drug especially on binges we dont even know how to love our selves let alone another human being. being an alcoholic isnt about how much how often or how long we have drank. I was an alcoholic before i took my first drink the problem is i didnt admit for 24 years. An alcoholic is when we take a drink we dont know what we might say next or do next or where we may wake up or with whom we may wake up. can you drink a half a drink and walk awy and leave the rest and not think about it? an alcoholic isnt necessarily the bum we see on the streets with the brown bag. It is you and i and many others that just cannot drink like normal folk. Things happen when we drink that we cant explain. Like arguments with loved ones saying hateful things. Waking up in the floor or in the car wondering how we got there. try some meetings i think it is great you havent drank in 144 days but without a program it isnt called sobriety it is called a dry drunk and that is where the anger comes from.

Yeah, you are right! Everyone that loves anyone goes out with other men/women.

Guru

hey guru that was not a very nice comment.

actually, FYI, we have known each other since we were 14. almost a quarter century, seven of which we lived together. we're in weekly counseling, although we have no kids. sound like two people who dont give a shit? sorry you got dumped back in the day but thats not the case here... we'll probably eventually get married and i'll come back on and send you some pics.

"PS...Don't blame anyone but your "self". You have stuffed the truth for a long time. "

now THAT i agree with.

and overworked i think youre right on track... actually i CAN leave a drink but my shit comes out in other ways....

"try some meetings i think it is great you havent drank in 144 days but without a program it isnt called sobriety it is called a dry drunk and that is where the anger comes from"


this is interesting... i have anger from all over, but there may be some coming from that too... but ill lookinto it....

ive been to about 5 meetings.... i know this is going to piss you guys off... but i dont like the powerless thing. i believe that every person CHOOSES to do things and i feel like i have some power over WHAT I CHOOSe... of course i acknowledge a higher power which HELPS me choose the right thing... GOD and I have a deal and that, so far, is my program. i believe you're letting people off the hook with that sometimes.... the guy sitting next to me who just drank a fifth of whisky CHOSE to go buy it and drink it. period.

but i'll give it another look, thank you.

AS AN OUTSIDER, one thing i can tell you about AA is that for people outside the program it can seem very uptight and judgemental, and i believe its arrogant to say that there is ONLY ONE way to do things. Bullshit. I have a friend whos been clean & sober 25 years and another who pulled himself together out of rehab, and i dont believe he has been a dry drunk for 10 years.... neither one did it through AA, just through hardcore work and counseling and support. IM NOTpowerless, with God helping me i have all kinds of power, the real kind.

but i like what you said and ill go back and check a couple out. thanks.

I'm not going to lable YOU, but if I were feeling the way you are I would be calling ME a dry drunk. I lived that way for a while after I sobered up the first time.

Powerless over that first drink that hits our lips...after that first drink, I am powerless. I can no longer make a CHOICE. I have lost the CHOICE. If I don't pick up that first drink, I have made a choice.

If you were not powerless over alcohol, why have a counter running for your days sober? Know what I mean?

1) We admitted we were powerless over alcholol- that our lives had become unmanageable.
...
Sure I was fine with just a 6 or 8, but I was powerless to put it down when I was there where non-alcoholics could put it down. Therefore, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, I hurt people, I miss work, I drive drunk for more booze because the power to say NO MORE has left me, I lie, I cheat, I have stole, I yell, I cry, I have hit, etc... And a lot of that can happen in ONE DRUNK. So yeah, I the second part of the 1st step...my life has become unmanageable.

I AM POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL, but there is a solution!

Some may say we lable it as "BB", but it is my reality!