A better day today, I woke up saying refuse to be mad,or sad. I worked most of the day which helped. I have house guest coming next week.which is good and bad, I have known stephen for my whole life,(well 7th grade anyway) I love his wife...the thing is when stephen and I get together we always let loose alone together as he is a doctor. When we get together it's like our highschool days. He always says Hell we have hard jobs, responsibility, lets let go tonight we both deserve it. and we usually do.we start out hanging out like couples do then stephen and I sneak off for fun. I don't know how we pull it off but we always manage to sneak off somewhere and come back drunk( no cheating going on) we just seem to be ourselves with each other no matter what. My problem is he knows I had a problem w/drinking after my medical mistake. when he told me they were coming to visit. I said remember I'm not drinking anymore. He said don't worry I won't let you drink... you can save my ass like you always do! They arrive next sunday I'm scared to death I won't be strong around him,even though he won't ask me to drink...between my cravings lately and my mood I'm so afraid i won't be strong enough to hold out one whole week w/him around 24/7....we shall see. I need to re-read this and NOT cave in I'm putting up a good fight i need to keep going....Man another test....I hate tests!!!!!!!
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