I am really puzzled in my life right now. I had been an alcholic/addict since around age 14 and continued until around 4 months ago at the age of 22 basically due to the fact i developed major depression from some trauma/events in my life. I just don't really enjoy anything in life anymore it seems like and I just feel regretful almost everyday. I never can sleep well, and I am so stressed w/ school and just life in general. I work out, meditate, eat healthy, nothing seems to help me. I keep getting thoughts in my head to go out w/ friends and try and have just 3 drinks or something for a night and reclaim my social life because otherwise I sit miserably at home by myself. I truly believe that's a terrible idea because at the last peak of my drinking I was damn near 70 drinks in a full weekend pretty much falling into a coma drunk not caring if I woke up. I just don't know what to do I guess I go to A.A. and am working the program but I just don't have any fun or social life anymore which was a big part of my life growing up. Everyone in a.a. is like 55 in my town. I miss the old me partying w/ my friends before this depression shit struck. I find myself in "morbid reflection" half the fucking day thinking how close I was to avoiding the trauma that occurred in my life and how much better things would be if it was different. I dunno I guess I just miss the old me I was really starting to become my self and feel comfortable in my own skin soberly even before this depression hit.
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