P.S. All this time I thought she didn't know I was a drunk. Well, it shocked her more that I got sober. Drinking was no secret and far from shocking to her. Sobriety was the shocker, a pleasant surprise.

i congratulate you! well, my daughter was taken away for my drinking but it was called "projected neglect" which basically means sometime in the future i will be unfit. i miss my child, want her with me but what is done is done. i really had to forgive my mother for taking that action because she raised all 4 of her children in a violent,abusive,alcoholic home and she never left. she wasn't the alcoholic;she was the violent one (i.e. throwing things,screaming matches, sometimes physical abuse directed toward everyone) and most of that was due to my father's alcoholism.so, when i got the papers, while going to work in my little flight attendant outfit, you can just imagine my feelings.all 4 children of hers were damaged in some way but to be fair she is a much changed woman with my daughter,her granddaughter.she seems to have her regrets now but it was hard for me for a very long time.we have made our amends but my daughter is still with her and i miss her very much. good job for recognizing a problem and taking action on it. love,devon

*hugs* ((((Devon))))

That really gets to me. Not just a drunk but as a cop for over 25 years, I can tell you from experience most child molestors, abusers, and neglectors of the eggregious crimes against children do not drink, smoke, or swear. They are otherwise nice people and very good with children. Cripes, I would hope so since a good hunter knows his prey. Only the victims see the true face and these people are very good at appearing like Mr. Rogers or Mary Poppins to the world around children. "Projected Neglect" is the most ridiculous term I have ever heard of, like "Pre-crime." One is innocent until proven guilty. My gosh are we ever barking up the wrong tree with horrific cases of child abuse/neglect.

You're not the only one to startle me with telling me that has changed since my retirement. Some of the women at AA have told me children can be removed for being a bad housekeeper. Yeah, most of those cases I worked the criminals were very meticulous about cleaning up crime scenes and evidence. Good golly.

No, in fact, I have seen many addicts not fall into deathly drinking/drugging 24/7 or get help when it reaches that point in order to continue to be there on a daily basis for their children.

Ok, so she is not a baby, but she is still my baby. I would die for her. I must seriously question what kind of a mother would do this to her daughter? I'm surprised she is not willing or has not educated herself on alcoholism and drug addiction. My daughter got a UTI infection once and I became a make shift urologist over that. I would do anything to help her.

Maybe she wants a chance to make it up but she doesn't get to be a mother all over again. She can be a good grandmother and a mother to you now. Trying to rewrite history has never worked out very well. Yeah, someone gets written out and into the story that becomes a lie. She is not her mother and can never be her mother. You are her mother and she should support you in being her mother, in being there everyday. Your mother got that chance when you were little and blew it with you. That isn't your fault and you should not be made to suffer for her mistake.

I would start up a grass roots about no respect for mothers. The way your mother is treated and the way you talk to your mother determines much about a child's relationships later in life. That psychologists know to be a fact. This is just plain wrong to be teaching children to fear their parents in any form. Fear teaches hate. Mother is name for God on the hearts and lips of all children.

I want my Mommy.

Hang in there, hon.