ive being fooling myself and every1 around me, people think iv stopped drinking and they know i havent and ive being lying to myself,ive stopped going aa meetings, not coz im bored of it but coz right now i feel dissconnnected from aa my self and everyone n everything around me, i have these cravings 4 drink everyday n its driving me nuts,im so full of anger and maybe that person in aa meeting was right maybe i still have that last drink left in me, maybe i havent hit my hit bottom yet , but in my head i feel i have reached my bottom,i just feel like throwing the towel in, the guy i fell 4 doesnt go meeting ne more coz of me n i feel guilt , its meesed everything up and i dont even konw wat im saying is making sense ne more, i really dont want to drink i really dont but the way life is rite now i feel like getting drunk tilli pass out, its an escape right?
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