so it was my 5th day sober today had a wicked day and for some insane reason i got a bottle of wine and i know thats whats making me feel depressed but i just feel soooooooo down, ive arranged to meet someone for a meeting but i know deep down its up to me, and i guess that why i feel disappointed in myself everytime i try to stop and i cant and it feels so shit every time, people say go to meetings work the steps but to be honest i dunno what that all means yet ive read some literature but whats real to me right now is constantly trying for so long and constantly failing, i got to one point where i gave up trying for a long time and ive come back to tryin and it feels like more real this time but i just feel worthless and shit and like everything i do doesnt seem like it works or a sucess
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