oh well i hit the wrong button. As i drank for many years and covered all feelings up with alcohol good or bad i have in the last year started having to learn to manage them. This has been difficult but it gets easier as time goes by. I had a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve and never knew when to take it out of the equation. as i go on with life i am learning that it is possible to just be friends with certain people and not have to get attached. when i do start to get attached i ask my self if the feelings i am having are for the right reasons or if i am being selfish. many times it comes down to what are my motives for being in this particular friendship. My life had been ran by motives for so long that it has been difficult to get past the always expecting something to the stage of just wanting a good conversation or good laugh. I still struggle with this at times but by talking with my sponsor and other alcoholics i have found that it is much easier to sort out the actual reasons for my actions. By doing so i learn what to or not to do the next time around. life can be confusing enough with all the pressures of society and unfounded expectations some people seem to insist on pushing on us. I have found that some times it is necessary to just plainly be about half rude to some people in order to get them to realize that there actions are not acceptable. I have also found though that when drawing these actions to there attention they usually seem to think about it and try and change. wow i am rambling so i can only say i wish i was an alanon. I could drink and have a 12 step program to.

excently put overwoked!!!

WoW!!! Exactly, i agree.

Gremlins, Overworked?
When I drink, is self-pity a real feeling? That's when I am alone otherwise I'm "on".
Having more than one or two feelings at present is very draining but as the rage ebbs I see the fear and loss it's hiding.
More importantly, I see a glimmer of hope that maybe this time the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train!

I NEVER WANTED ANY FEELINGS SINCE I WAS A KID NOW I HATE THEM I FEEL LIKE CRYING IN WORK MEETINGS A CRY ON THE STREETS I CRY IN STUPID CHURCHS THAT I FIND ALONG MY STROLLS IM SO SAD I WISH I CANNOTR FEEL ANYMORE

I THINK THATS WHY I DRINK TO NOT FEEL I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO FEEL

by working the steps that passes. i feel like crying at times and you know what there is nothing wrong with it. I have learned to manage it better but it took time. i never cryed for twenty years so now its time.