Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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family breakup???

deleted_user
deleted_user
things at home , well to b honest there is no family relationship at all, i kinda pictured my family to b perfect i always did wen i grew up, but looking in, i see flaws, we hardly ever speak without a row, my dad watched tv all day, my mum in the other room watching tv n me well i jus dont know wat to say to them no more, my dad constantky critiscises me for gonig to meetings etc he thinks i can do it on my own with will power, i try explian to him i jus cant do it alone n al he says is im talk 'shit' my mum n i we dont really have a relationship where we can sit down n talk instead of arguing n im kinda fed up of it.
My stupid brother i cant stand him, i have a 7 month old nephew who i adore who i jus dont see n he lives 10 minutes away my brother cant even b bothered to bring him round, its hard coz i really want my mum n dad to support me but how the hell can they wen they odnt understand me, i told my mum to go to al anon to try n understand but she refuses, she went there once n never went back, even tho im sober now nothing i do is ever good enuff
i have a 19 yr old sister who i used to get on so well with but she has her own life now, her own mates etc, im losing my family n they cant even see it wen i can, it bloody hurts
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi dear ~ I know you said you were afraid of Christmas this year because of all the drinking, and you were worried you might drink too. Is there anywhere else you could spend Christmas, like at your sisters? I was trying to think of somewhere where it would be safer for you, alcohol-wise. You might have all the "will-power" in the world, but when it's right in front of you, will-power doesn't mean a thing to an alcoholic who is early in recovery!

And don't feel bad about not having the 'perfect' family ~ NO ONE has that!! LOL I don't think anyone here can say they had that perfect family growing up, like we used to see on TV years ago. I know I sure didn't. Both my parents were alcoholics, and fought like cats and dogs. We kids were scared to death that one of them would kill the other.

If at all possible, why not see if your sister would be open to having you over for Christmas? IF, that is, you WANT to. It might be a good time to help mend some fences between the two of you. God bless sweetie, and take care ~ I'm proud of you for staying sober! Take care. hugs, Lee
AnneL
AnneL
It is very difficult when you look at what you thought was an ideal family and recognize that nothing about it is ideal. It can be a very frightening place to be. I know how hard it is as I went through the same thing. What I did was create the relationships I wanted with them in the full knowledge that they would never be perfect. OK, your Dad thinks you don't need meetings. I would say 'Ok, Dad. That's a difference of opinion we have. I'll just ask that you respect my decision, that's all. So, how are you today?' Just opening up conversations can be scary but it can also be gratifying. There are a lot of ways for you to take charge of the dynamics you'd like to have. Go over and see your nephew. Ask to make play dates with him. I'm sure they'd love a little free time. Make dates with your sister to have girl time. It takes a little creativity to get out of an isolated family situation. My family doesn't entirely understand me and I've learned to be OK with that. I know that it's hard for you right now as things are very raw and you're seeing more clearly but it's not hopeless. I know it can feel like it but it's not hopeless. It's just a shift in perspective. It doesn't change the pain of recognition.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There will be AA meetings over xmas, your situation is problematic, if you cant be away at xmas make sure you have phone numbers at hand. If trouble starts then dont get involved remove yourself from the situation, try not to let them press your buttons. This is hard as you are at the start of your journey, but you will emerge as a stronger person if you stay sober. Believe me it will be worth the effort. I wish you well.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh they can see it, That is why the steps are so important so you can see that family stuff in a different light and heal from it and look at it differently so it don't hurt you anymore, and use it to keep drinking.When we drink people don't want to be around us, do you blame them? Personally and this is just for me, cause I had too, I don't see my family anymore, the ones I grew up with I have a different family now.My parents, sis and brother all drink and are abusive to be around.I know when I was newly sober I use to attend alot of marathon meetings around the holidays, and go to AA type christmas parties.
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