i havent had a drink for 14 days now n ishud b feelin good but ive being fooling myself , deep down im broken n lost,life 4 me is crap rite now , ive jus come outta prison after doing a 2 year sentence and i jus cant handle reality, everyday is a big long struggle,i promised myself id never drink wen i came out this time and i failed, i went straight back on the booze n ever since i picked up that first drink,i v not stopped, i can go days without drink but in the end i always give in ,itsd like a love affiar i have with booze , i jus cant leave it alone , i always think about it, i feel so lifeless, like theres no energy in me, i put on dis smile to the world n to my friends n family but deep down i jus feel like givin in and throwin in the towel, im now sober i know i cant pick up a drink , i know where it will lead me, but y do i feel like this,i shud b happy im sober but im not, coz now im facin life without ne mind altering substances n its soo painful, im so close to pickin up a drink, probation told me im on my last warining n if i dnt change ilb bk in prison b4 i know it, maybe its wehre i belong i dnt konw but i jus cant deal with life, y do i still hate myself so much , being sober is wat iv longed 4 n mow i am i jus dnt know if i want it, its too painful to walk into a place or see sum1 without booze
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