
Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

deleted_user
I'm gonna tread carefully here and preface this by saying in no way do I mean to offend folks from AA. This is an honest observation/feeling on my part and it may be that others have felt this way too so I'm honestly asking if anyone has and how they came to terms with it IF they did.
Here goes: suprisingly the "higher power" thing doesn't bother me about AA. What I am really struggling with right now is the giving up of my individuality. (Gosh this is harder to explain then I thought!!). It seems I must accept that I am powerless in the face of alcohol. I get that. But I'm getting the sense that I must give myself over to the idea that my "story" AKA - my "life" is in no way unique. That as an alcoholic I must accept that this definition puts me in the same shoes as everyone else in the room. I DEFINITELY don't feel I am any better or even necassarily any worse than anyone there. It's more a sense that I must loss my individuality and give over to the group/AA, whatever (gosh, I really don't know if this will make any sense??
It's kind of like I cease being "x" and become defined soley by the fact that I'm an alcoholic. That is VERY difficult for me!!!
I'm going to go right out on a limb and say in that sense AA strikes me as having "cult-like" features. If I don't give myself completely over to it than I can't "belong/recover".
Please understand I HONESTLY want to understand how all this works. There is very strong resistance in me on an emotional level to this. If at all possible I'd like to now how to get around that so I can really start working on my recovery.
I am hoping this makes sense to "someone" out there and that I haven't offended everyone. Surely I can't be the only one that has felt this way?????
Here goes: suprisingly the "higher power" thing doesn't bother me about AA. What I am really struggling with right now is the giving up of my individuality. (Gosh this is harder to explain then I thought!!). It seems I must accept that I am powerless in the face of alcohol. I get that. But I'm getting the sense that I must give myself over to the idea that my "story" AKA - my "life" is in no way unique. That as an alcoholic I must accept that this definition puts me in the same shoes as everyone else in the room. I DEFINITELY don't feel I am any better or even necassarily any worse than anyone there. It's more a sense that I must loss my individuality and give over to the group/AA, whatever (gosh, I really don't know if this will make any sense??
It's kind of like I cease being "x" and become defined soley by the fact that I'm an alcoholic. That is VERY difficult for me!!!
I'm going to go right out on a limb and say in that sense AA strikes me as having "cult-like" features. If I don't give myself completely over to it than I can't "belong/recover".
Please understand I HONESTLY want to understand how all this works. There is very strong resistance in me on an emotional level to this. If at all possible I'd like to now how to get around that so I can really start working on my recovery.
I am hoping this makes sense to "someone" out there and that I haven't offended everyone. Surely I can't be the only one that has felt this way?????
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Regards
Les
Congrats on your sobriety. That takes a lot of courage.
We think we are unique with our story relating to alcoholism. You will find the more you hear alcholics tell their stories you will relate to part of the story and one day you will hear your story. I did. It's in that sense that we are not unique.
I never lost my individuality and I have 15 years of continuous sobriety thanks to my Higher Power which I choose to call God and AA as a whole.
Keep doing meetings and things will get better.
Easy Does It.
The others in my group have all got entirely different stories to me, and are all very different, but their stories and how they overcame problems and maintained sobriety are inspirational. We are all there for the one reason - sobriety.
You do have to accept that you are an alcoholic and wish to get sober, but if you didn't then sobriety is an unachievable goal.
Why don't you try another group, as they are all different. Don't stop being you, but look at some of the similarities in the stories of the others. No matter how different you think you are, there will be similarities.
Good luck.
XXX
Is it a cult, you could say that it perhaps borders on being a cult, but its only objective is to keep people sober, so if it were indeed a Cult one could hardly describe it as harmfull one.
I think I would argue against it's cult status in favour of a group of human beings wanting one thing sobriety.
In the groups that I have been to, everybody has their own personal identity, however the one thing that we have in common is that we are alcoholics, our stories may be similar but they are about an individuals experience rather than a group.
The expersion "Handing your self over to the group" is more a way of showing your commitment, and sharing this safely with others, you not offering your body and soul up for slaughter, so stop worrying.
Perhaps the wordings could be better, but they have worked for a long time, so Ithink most are of the opinion why change them.
I am the type of person that questions most things in life, the AA can provide you with as little or as much as you choose to take from it.
In it's very essence, it borders on cultism, but nobody I know, delibratly became an Alcoholic to join, so I would say that it is not a Cult, but a fellowship of people that desire one thing, sobriety.
So try and let your gaurd down, you may just be bringing out the old side in you, it's truly not needed, and could be holding you back.
Go to meetings, take what you can and leave what you don't want, thats what I was taught any way
Trcikey
In no way are you changing your identity. Just trying to see yourself in a different manner.
We are not bad people trying to get good. We are sick people trying to get better. Not a cult, but an advisory. Take what you can use, and leave what you cannot. Remember there are no leaders, but trusted servants. You are not required to follow any direction, but try to see how some stories apply to your life. Not compare. Keep the faith. God bless
I know that doesn't answer your question completely, my only suggestion is to go to a few more meetings. If you hear someone share something you identify with then talk to that person. When I started makeing friends in AA, I started to realize just how different everyone is with one powerful thing in common, the desire to stop drinking. I have friends that I might have nothing else in common with if I weren't a recovering alcoholic, yet the friendships are strong...best I've ever had.
I hope I was helpful.
Eric Hoffer once said "when people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other"
How very true this is. Look at life and the bigger picture. How so very often do we nestle in clicks and pockets of society, even society itself. How desperately do we yearn to belong and not be alone? There is conformity even in nonconformity and eccentricity.
Cult-like. I'd agree to an extent. There is a certain conformity of thought and action. However where AA parts from the true definition of the word is the fact that there is no iconic (human) figure/leader and no slimy bastard trying to get a slice of your income to purchase his 16th Mercedes.
AA is democracy in action. Democracy needs ground rules and a lack of total anarchy. The primary meaning of 'culto' in Spanish means well-educated, well-read and a feeling of affinity with the arts - think that one over...
The big book says "We have a way out on which we absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action."
Harmony and brotherhood in a solution to a fatal illness. I like the sound of that.
I used to be an opter-outer and even rejected all the norms of society and went to live a bohemian lifestyle in a caravan in the countryside with no home comforts (water, electricity etc). Did I find happiness? Yes, for while... Did I find non-conformity - not really - in fact my thirst for it increased dramatically and I was just another hippy living in a sub-society...
Brainwashing. I like to call it reprogramming. An alcoholic's mind has become trained to obsess about and yearn for a fix to a spiritual dis - ease through a drink. The mind wants an instant psychic change. If I can escape that hell and prison of thought through brotherly and harmonious action then bring it fecking on...
One of the many paradoxes of AA is that through a degree of conformity, true individualism can be found. Victory can be had through surrender, control regained through handing over, freedom through discipline and routine, the realisation of true self through 'brotherly' participation.
My one and single suggestion to you would be to not place so much emphasis on what is said and done in meetings. Read the big book and discover how this illness relates to you as an individual and how singleness of action through the steps contained therein towards the solution can truly set you free. It's not what you do or say in meetings that counts, it's out in the big wide world that you really prove your metal.
Allow me to finish my musings with another quotation:
"Finally, on this controversial issue I have a bone of contention. Alcoholics have to rejoin the human race in a society that has very little sympathy for them. For good quality sobriety they must do this, and forming little fraternities, as a world within the world, is almost like setting up a kind of leper colony that can only lead to isolation. It can become purgatory and generate a 'them and us' situation which turns the illness into a millstone for life."
Nick Charles - who received an MBE from the queen for his work with alkies, having once been a down and out on the streets of London. He is not AA, and I completely respect that, the big book even says "If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us."
Nick Charles says this about AA "I failed miserably with AA. I have no criticism of their philosophy as it was originally written... any watering down of this philosophical doctrine is hypocrisy of the highest degree".
So... If you think you can work a spiritual program as you obviously do from your post - throw yourself into AA the big book way and live it in all your daily affairs. True individualism and freedom awaits you on your wonderful personal journey ahead... The one common theme that I see in various recovery programs is that we need to help other alkies - there is a chapter dedicated to that in the big book. Don't forget that!
PS Maybe I don't keep it simple in my words, but I try to keep it simple in my daily actions :)
peace,
denise
"I have heard people told they can choose whatever they wish as their higher power, varying from the sublime to the ridiculous... Anyone who is not committed to a God is almost guaranteed to fail and no amount of 'bending the rules' to accommodate for numbers can be a substitute."
His words are harsh, but I personally take heed. He believes in the message of the big book, not watered down confusing messages spouted out at meetings. That said, patience and humility can be found at meetings and lets face it, we all need fellowship and support in this lonely illness. If you feel you are a true alcoholic as described in the Big Book, then if you commit yourself 100% to its solution, it will work, it is for me...
The best comment I can make is to take the program seriously, work it earnestly if you have a desire to stop drinking. The original Big Book manuscript said 'honest desire'....but they realized for drunks, honesty was an unfamiliar and fluid concept.
Most of all don't wrap the 'coat' of AA to tightly. Think, Think, Think...but Don't Think, Don't Drink, Go to Meetings, Clean House, work with others.. Pull the program in close when things get scary and slippery. Loosen it occasionally otherwise you'll find a resentment against AA. And resentments get us drink eventually.