i live in denial about drinking. sure i can go months without it and then that little voice sneaks in and says "you've been so good. one drink won't hurt" so, being self centred at that time i say "what the hell" and there starts the cycle all over again. i went to a few aa mettings in the past but it never felt right. i would leave feeling great shame. what the hell do i have too do to get this demon off my back. I can fully addmit that i should never drink. i hate myself when i do and i hate that my kids are growing up to think that its ok. i hate myself for doing this to them. i want to stop. i want to start living again. i want my kids to grow up knowing that there are other ways to solve your problems. please, be tough on me, be straight. i need to get a good kick in the brain.
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