I have to apologize guys. I think I've been making my posts where people's advice goes. Sorry Still a little foggy. Still getting used to the site. But I love it here. It's saved me this weekend. I work weekend nights and don't drink when I work. Tomorrow will be another story. I'm going to a meeting at 12:00. Very nervous and scared. Some of the feelings i usually have when I want to drink and that scares me too. Someone said it might feel like coming home. I hope so. It's definitly minute by minute right now. I hate this drinking thing. I hate the person I become when I drink. Very sloppy and mean. I have calls to make next week to my sister and my son to apoligize for crappy things I said last week to them. I'm dreading that. I can almost feel the tone in their voices. Ugh. Sometimes I just really don't want to do this sober thing again. I don't know how to be anything sober. Actually that's not true. I know my job and I know how to be a great granma. My grankids are the most special things in the world to me.3 granddauters and a grandson on the way. I know if I don't try to do this I won't be able to see them. My kids have told me that. And that would just about kill me. Well rambled on long enough. i have one more night of work and then I'm off for 3 days. So i will talk to you all tomorrow. Julie
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