Hello there I know how you feel I have great intentions and then the craving,boredom, anxiety sets in and I get into the beer in a big way a whole day drinking until I fall asleep. And I wake up sick and angry at myself. Like you I feel like crap and unhealthy. This week I am going on a long fruit diet only they say its great for detox and kills any cravings.So I hope and pray I can do it. Why dont you have a go never know we might win this battle.

Dont be too hard on yourself at least you can still go to work.

Take care

Kelly

One of these days I hope and pray you'll realise that enough is enough. And youll get fed up enough to find the strength to make the change. Sounds like you're pretty close to making that choice. Cause I think thats the hardest part - choosing recovery, knowing it may be a pretty bumpy journey, but that it HAS to be personal CHOICE.

What sorta support do you have? Have you tried AA meetings? Do you have a health professional you can discuss your options and health with? Do you have faith affiliations where you could talk to Pastors or Elders? Do you have family that may be able to help encourage and support you?

Im sure we can help you and support you better if we know the haps you've already got in place.

May God bless and keep you.

You can have all the self-discipline in the world and want to quit drinking but alcoholism, if you are one, has nothing to do with that. It's a cunning, baffling, and insane addiction. You may need help to quit. Most do. Good luck

I have been there so many times before and truthfully I don't what is different this time except I am doing it for me, not for family friends work or anyone just for me and you know it feels so much better that all the other times I've tried. Here's hoping you can find it in yourself to forgive yourself and the real want to change things for yourself. This is a great site for support so keep coming back. Bx

I agree with aylarain. If you are an alcoholic, willpower, moral fiber, inner strength, etc. won't be enough for you to stop drinking long-term. If drinking is killing you and you can't stop, get some help. Try an AA meeting or go to a therapist just to talk to someone.

I dragged my feet for a long time before surrendering the first time around. I'm back after a two-year relapse and am sober about a month. The thing I'm noticing (again) is how wonderful the fellowship of other alcoholics who are trying to stay sober is. What I once dreaded (like so many of us) is actually the greatest blessing in the world. Do yourself a favor and just give it a try.

When it comes to addiction (and what you described sounds like addiction) will power, inner strength, self control....are completely irrelevant. Next time you have diarrhea try will power or self control to cure that....it doesn't work.
I suggest trying an AA meeting. You could go to an open meeting and just listen. See if you could relate to what is being shared. Good luck to you.