Hi, I am seeking advice on how to handle the situation around an alchoholic who relapsed. I am in shock and want to seek advise on how to handle the situation or talk to him?
On Fri evening, my diabetic bro came home really drunk after going out w an out of town friend. His outfit was disorganized, his wallet content was scattered on the driveway randomly, his cell phone was misplaced, and he could not carry a conversation straight. His eyes gazed each time when I checked on him. He then acted really agitated if I just asked how he was feeling and responded “ i m fine”. I had a big knot in my stomach knowing he drank again. Secretly, I was hoping it was one slip because he has been sober for 3 weeks and has been very responsible for all his tasks. I let him sleep it off and did not question further. I did not sleep all night as part me was really worried. I did not want my elder parents to see it.
On Sat, I wanted to talk to him when he was sober. The alchohol demon posted him. He remains drunk and could not carry conversation. He pretended to want to join the family to eat dinner but soon he throw away food. Later at night, I heard a faint bottle open sound around 1am.I went and searched his car (which was dropped off by his friend) and found two unopened bottle of tequila hidden in the trunk. Through out the week, I also learned from his co workers (new job) that he took frequent break at work and was slow in getting a very simple and straightforward thing done. Finding the tequilas made my heart broken. I could not sleep and pray that all of these must have good explanations in the morning. I did not want my 80 year old mom cry. I pray and pray for God’s love for him.
This morning, he woke up drunk again. He did not once asked us if we saw his wallet or phone. I saw him looking for things intensely. Without phone, driver license and credit cards, I hope he would stay home. I keep praying him to sober up so I can talk to the reasonable him. I want to know how to talk to him. How should I handle the bottles? Take them away silently or confront him? Should I give his wallet and phone back? Should I tell his co workers and friends he has diabete and is an alcoholic ? Or, should I still give him the respect of privacy? My head hurts. I love him and want him to seek help. He has zero saving in his bank account. He got paid in cash from his temp job and has not deposited his earnings for I can tell. This means he has the cash to buy alchohol...and drank on the job... and come home as if nothing happened for weeks. Should I call him out without embarrassing him? help!
Thanks in advance. I m in great sadness and pain to watch his life wasted away... Mom was in tear all morning because she knew.
Here is a good article by Darlene Lancer, i love her work. She has A book codependencyfor dummies. I heard it was good and easierto understand than melodie beattie CNM.
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