I am nearing 3 months sober (two days to go) and I'm finding myself complacent in my sobriety. The reason I stopped drinking is because of the worst depressive episode I think I've ever had (I'm also bipolar). I was mixing alcohol with my prescription meds. I was "only" drinking about 6 beers a day. One could argue that's just a heavy drinker but I was drinking to alter my feelings and felt like I needed a drink. Anyhow, now I'm feeling on top of the world. The depression is gone and I'm thinking to myself "Was I really all *that* bad?" Maybe it wasn't the alcohol making me depressed (maybe I just needed different medication). Maybe I'm just a heavy drinker and I don't need AA. Argh! I've only been feeling good for a week and a half. I'm going to call my sponsor today and talk to her about it. I also shared this in a meeting. I don't think I'm in any real danger of a relapse but the thoughts are unsettling.
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