Wow. I am sorry that you have been betrayed like this. Confiding in someone should never be used against you in my opinion. However, having said that, and please don't take this the wrong way, doesn't your son also deserve a voice? As he is only 14, who will speak up for him if not your counselor who knows the situation? Please don't let this set you back. Just add it to your list of reasons not to drink and keep going forward.

You need to ask yourself one question"could you ever forgive yourself if anything happened to your son whilst you were under the influence"regardless of your neighbours,I know I wouldnt.
I do understand how you could take what she has done as a confidence break,but im sure she is just doing her job.Good Luck xx

sweetie everthings going to be okay im here if u ever need to talk
and i would swich counclers as soon as u can

Thank you IMISSMYBIGBRO. Not to put too fine a point on it but the fact is that I have been in therapy with this particular addictions counsellor since MAY. I was a single mom who drank heavily then. It's now November, I have stuck to my guns about absolutely NO DRINKING AND DRIVING and have cut WAY back on my consumption of beer. If she were reporting this for the safety of my son, shouldn't she have reported me in May or June even? Why now that I have cut back signifigantly? Mind you, we are at loggerheads about the reason I just don't quit all together (I REALLY need to do this in my time, my way). But for her to report me now is suspect in my book. She has added an unnecassary stressor to my life and I am hurt and scared and furious all at once and we all know what drinkers do in those circumstances. Damn her!!!

You know, it does seem a little strange that she has waited this long before getting CPS involved. Sorry, I didn't realize that you had been seeing her since May.

I hate to say anything as I might come off the wrong way. I just want to explain a situation that happened to me and I am quite ashamed of it.. It was the 4th of July and my youngest being about 6 or y was out lighting fire works with neighbors, without adult supervision as my husband and I worth both toast. You couldnt have woke Gary up with a bomb and I was well just drunk. My son came running into the house just after dark and had lit a firework with a lighter and the lighter blew up in his hand. I got him to a neighbor and she helped me wash his hand out but it was a bloody mess. Well if it had not been for her to drive us to the emergency I dont know what would have happened. Do you know how embarassing it was for me sitting in the waiting room smelling like a freaking beer hall and the looks I got as I bring my son in all bloodied? That is just one of the things I feel horrible about.. I am an alcoholic and just barely admitting to it. The more I see what I took away from my children the worse it hurts.. I am not putting you down just sharing my story.. hugs.. Y'Vonne

Hi, got your invite today. I don't want to be a wet blanket, but I would have done the same thing your counselor did. Why? It's called "raising your bottom." The vast majority of people don't quit until they hit rock bottom. She is actually helping you. Shoot, she got you angry at her and that means you are energized. She also might be seeing something else in your behavior that worries her where Mouse is concerned.

Energy is adrenalin, no good or bad judgment to it. It's your choice as to what you do with that energy. You can use it by being mad at your counselor and creating the circumstances that will set back YOUR recovery big time. Or you can use it to make that final decision to quit. Why don't you want to quit? What positives are you getting out of it? Do you get more or less attention? Are you able to miss work and go riding? What is your reward?

Think of it this way, when you quit, you will be able to save your money and make a trip to sunny Florida! I love and miss you!

later gator!

Hmmm, you're not going to like this, but just know I say it with all the love and respect of my fellow alcoholic friends.

You say it was worse 6 months ago and she didn't call then, I'm sort of thinking you said something to her that she felt gave her reason to do that. Maybe not deliberately, or maybe you thought you were getting over on her (that's what we do). Why don't you wait and see what she has to say when you confront her?
I had a (now former) neighbor who I called on too. She was so mad she didn't speak to me for 2 years. I gotta tell you though, when I did call it wasn't an isolated incident; there was a long history that led me to the phone call. A lot of that history was her dumping her 4 boys on us and disappearing. When I called she had been yelling to her youngest (then 5 years old) that she was going to leave without him, and she did. She didn't just drive around the block to scare him, she was gone a good 20 minutes.
She had every excuse, 'I thought he was hiding in the van, I knew there were people around to watch him...etc'
When she finally did talk to me about it, she tried to say that that would be like her seeing me with a bottle and telling people she saw me drinking when I wasn't (I nipped that in the bud too).

Just one more thing, you implied in your posting that if you drank over this it would be her fault.....you know that's not the case.

Best wishes to you in your recovery, and your relationship with you counselor.

hey your getting a better chance than i did...be greatful and quit drinking...or keep drinking...oh yes that cut back will pick back up too...then let me tell you what is going to happen..you will loose that kid of yours..it will take you a year or better to get him back..im not going to tell you how sorry i am that the counselor called DCFS on you..i say good for him...hopefully this will be your eye opener..i didnt get a chance..i was sitting in a jail cell when they took my kid away to a foster home for my drinking...oh yea...she was cared for..bathed, fed. clothed and never missed school..i was the great mom like you are..i even "cut" back for my kid...we are not the only ones powerless over alcohol..our children are too...so i hope you get the help you need to keep that child at home in a safe envirnment. and if you want to argue anything i just said then look up the meaning of denial in the dictionary...if you want to talk..im here for that too...

WOW!!! That is definitely a betrayal of trust between counselor/client. Some have a point on here about the safety of your son. How do you feel about that??? Would you do anything for him??? If so, then maybe you need to think about quitting all together. CPS is involved now and if you don't work with them, you could lose your son and I don't want to see that happen to you and your son. My son was taken when he was young but he was classified as an uncontrollable child. I worked with the CPS for over 5 years to get him the right help (along with family therapy) and finally he got to come home. I don't want you to have to go through that. They didn't always hold true to their words so I hope you really take a good look at the situation. Good Luck in whatever you choose...you can talk to me if you want to.

Just an FYI, Counselors are required by law to report to CPS any time they believe a child to be in danger. The fact that CPS hasn't been sitting on your doorstep since the minute your Counselor reported is a good sign. It means that she did not give a "emergency" report and believes that help from CPS might be appropriate.

Love ya! And I'm still here for you.

After reading the HIPPA & other statments of during intake(what ever) This always lead me to believe I had no rights. For me to be honest with my counslor would only lead CPS to my doorstep. NOW... I do not feel I am an abusive parent by any means; however, but the letter of the law and as 'non bias' as it claims to be, I would suppose I~as many of us would be--even for raising a voice! Therefore, should I find trust in one counslor or Dr. i have asked myself? I fear them on the premise of statements made in the 10pgs of thier ethical binding terms. It actually is not a betrayal if you think about it; however, it is... We could go on and on. But how are WE to get better when there is no TRUST between PATIENT & CLIENT? ISNT THIS THE FIRST RULE? PRIVILAGE? I am sorry... I have 3 and I decided to trust and I hear you have been with one for this long maybe my trust should be revoked. ~A

The whole thing is a huge conundrum. Families can lose custody of kids, professionals can be arrested and lose their careers. They can also be charged if a child is hurt or dies with failure to protect and even manslaughter.

Trust is necessary. I have always believed to trust yourself first. Deep down we all know when we start crossing those invisible lines. Sometimes we tell people things that we know are going to raise red flags because we can't raise those flags ourselves. The unconscious will speak for the conscious.

I remember one time with my brother. He had been in rehab for 6 weeks (his 5th time) and my parents, my son and I went to see him the day after he was released. He smelled so bad that I could easily tell he'd been drinking all night. But, I was also tired of Mom crying, so I lied and joked about the awful scents they create for men. (Musk was popular then.) That was the last time I lied about it. I did however, neglect to tell my parents about all the times he called me when drunk asking for money. I never had any to give. He calls me the Ice Princess to this day. It hurts, but I still love him.

What does this have to do with trust? My thought is that it is all these "parent/child" relationships we have. I lied to protect my parents. My parents would be very hurt if they knew. In counseling, the parent to the therapist is the law. The law won't be hurt, the enforcers of the law will simply process them as another bad apple.

Sorry this got so ramble-y. It is still a conundrum for me. To me the bottom line is trust yourself.

reporting that to dcfs or CPS what ever you all them there..it is NOT breaking patient confidentuality. theres a child in harm here and the counselor has every right to do what she did.

hi lacey2,

My response was from a perspective that also saw the reporting system abused. If a child is truly in danger, than a report should be filed. I had too many experiences with parents filing reports on each other and using the child as a weapon. That is simply wrong.