how is everyone?
How many of you have depression or anxiety?
I recently got myself back into therapy because depression was starting to increase to the point I think about dying to ease the pain.
I used to drink to ease the pain. I like being able to sleep and I like being able to let obsessive thought patterns pass. Alcohol just made it impossible to do that.
I have had an occasional drink I will admit but have not gone back to a bottle of wine every night. I have a glass of wine when I meet with my knitting group. One is enough. Any more than that and I feel that icky feeling creep in. It’s a weird uneasiness.
Lately ive been having the urge to shop to make myself feel better or to treat myself to food to make myself feel better and all either one of those things does is make me broke or overweight. I’m a middle aged woman now which makes losing or maintaining weight even more difficult. My boyfriend stopped drinking the same time and he has lost a bunch of weight. Not me! Aaaaa! Self pity!
I was looking through old text messages yesterday. I found some that I obviously sent when I was wasted. Ugh...it was horrifying. I wish I could unsee that. Someone with no self respect sent those text messages. That’s another bonus for abstinence or in my case moderation. Not having to worry about what stupid shit I did the night before and don’t remember.
If only all of this cured my mental illness....wouldn’t that be nice?
I like cotton candy, caramel apples with nuts, popcorn, funnel cakes, elephant ears, cheese nachos. Of course I don't eat all of them when I go to the fair I choose what I'm in the mood for that they have. Usually 1 thing. I do like those big salty pretzels also I like mine with yellow mustard. Some times I'm in the mood for a good hot grillled hot dog with yellow mustard and sweet relish. Or a...