I need some advice from you all on how to deal with my husband - we are separated, but still live in the same house for financial reasons, and for the sake of our 6 yr old daughter. When things start to get tense (and they do A LOT), I will say I have to go to a meeting and leave. There are a lot of AA meetings here. But, sometimes I just go for a walk or go to Starbucks. Anyway, sometimes I can't leave for whatever reason, and I can't just "run away" from him. So, my question is how to avoid conflict and remain calm when living with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive, critical, controlling, and negative. I especially hate when he exhibits these behaviours in front of our daughter, and actually, the judge ordered that neither one of us speak disparagingly about eachother in her presence. Nonetheless, the situation is close to unbearable. Also, he opens my mail, rifles through my wallet, my car, my pockets, etc. No respect for boundaries. I can't leave my computer on if I am not in front of it because he goes thru my documents and tries to get into my emails. I know the best solution would be to move, but I can't - for one thing, he has sole custody right now b/c of my alcoholism. So, I am fortunate to still see my daughter every day and be able to be part of her life. Secondly, my lawyer said that if I move out he will have a huge advantage over me in terms of future financial decisions, custody decisions, etc. I am sure he is making it as horrible as possible for me to live here, in hopes that I will break down and move. I have to be strong and stand my ground. I just need some techniques for dealing with an asshole on a regular basis, without losing my cool. Let me know. Thanks!
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