I hope someone can give me some insight here. Even though I absorb other people's stories at AA like a sponge and get so much from it I am finding it almost impossible to share about myself or phone the numbers I have been given for a crisis. I am especially reluctant to stand out front feeling so exposed and talk. I suspect this is because of previous sustained bullying and criticism causing my fear of crowds but I just don't seem to have the same need to talk about myself most do. Everyone else seems so eloquent and some can talk for what seems like half the meeting. I have done a lot of soul searching and inventory of myself before I started attending meetings, but I really do need the fellowship and insights of others. I have often been accused of being too honest and of inappropriate sharing in the past, maybe I'm scared once the dam breaks I will go overboard? Will it affect my recovery? I seem to be doing ok so far but feel I'm not playing the game properly. Its like wearing clothes in a nudist resort.
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