Jazzed,
Can you talk up YOUR sponsor to her? Let her know how trustworthy and knowledgeable your sponsor is? See if she will try her on a 'trial basis'? Cajole her if necessary? lol

Tried that and she knows my sponsor and likes her. I really don't know what the real deal is but for some reason she trusts me. If it gets to be something I know I cannot handle I will give her my sponsors # and a couple more but for now she is sober this morning and doing well.

I recently had someone still qualifying for AA who was calling me like a sponsor. To make a long story short, I had to be abrupt with him and tell him that I do not have enough time (four months) to be his sponsor. I said that I can offer him rides and so forth, but I was not equipped to take on any more of his unsober drama. My sponsor agreed that I did the right thing.

I was building up a definite resentment, which I know is not any good for me! I have to know when I have reached the limit of my effectiveness and back off at that point. Otherwise, I will be back out qualifying with dude I mentioned above.

Wayne-

Jazzed, I had this experience too in early sobriety. I spoke to my sponsor, and gave my friend my sponsors number. We did however remain 'sobriety buddies' It was great to have someone to talk to, but I was not her sponsor. I still had a lot of work to do with myself, and needed time and patience to grow a bit. You can still be a good friend and be supportive. I'd encourage you to speak to your sponsor, and HP for guidance.

I agree with all replies. cabledude has a good point also. Please keep in mind, a sponsor is one who guides the alcoholic through the 12 Steps after taking the steps to that spiritual awakening themselves.

At this stage of the game, you are very wise to be questioning this person's motives. I became better able to help others only after helping myself.

I needed others within a month or three sobriety of me, just to talk to. You sound like a good friend.

Thank you all for the replies. I knew there had to be underlying issues but being so new in the program I cannot see the forrest for the trees at times. I need you all and thank you for your kindness and knowledge. hugs to all

jazzed-your beginning statement said you felt your Higher Power guiding you. Don't question this-if it was a guided experience be thankful and proceed ahead with mindfulness and the ability to listen to further whisperings from your higher power. I believe that if you are in tune with this, the answers with how to deal with other alkis, and situations in general, will come. I usually pray about something I am questioning-consult others, and pray some more. The answers are within jazz-not in a program, book, or on this board when it comes down to it.

In my exp this time in AA I was sponsoring others in aa at around 4 months. I had already beagn to do my ammends and was doing 10 11 and 12. Sponsoring someone acording to the directions in chap 7 means taking that new person thru the 12 steps out of the BB so they can have misery and death averted. Now if everyone here would look at chap 7 I have yet to see it in there where it says " a sponsor to be a sponsor has to have x amount of time" that simply is not the case at all and it def was not our founders exp who wrote the BB who stayed sober for the rest of thier lives. Out of the not quite 76 or so alkis that wrote the BB onl;y 6 died drunk or commited suicide. now thats better than a 90 percent success rate for our founders. There is alot of opinions about AA from well meaning ppl in and out of the rooms but some of it doesn't add up. I know in my own exp when I began taking others thru the steps my exp with the steps grew beyond what exp I had with going thru the steps with my sponsor. I have talked to thousands of alcoholics at meetings who have all said they had the same exp when they began to take others thru the work. Once your up to step 9 dont rest on your laurels, begin to exp steps 10 11 and 12. Sponsorship in the BB is said " its a exp not to be missed and you will help create the fellowship you crave".
I know this there is nothing like watchin a fellow alcoholic when you meet them who is suffering from untreated alcoholism begin to work with me in the steps and I get to wacth them begin to have hope, To see thier livese get recreated and to see them begin to take others thru the steps it fills my heart with joy. To see the spiritual malady that had a hold of them get removed what a gift that is to witness in another of gods kids. Thats my exp as a recovered alcoholic who has been sober since 2001.

Why should you not work with other alcoholics? This is what we do. You are not attempting to be a Savior for your friend are you? We help each other where our disease is concerned. If nothing else, you could walk through the steps together. If what you are working with your sponsor is working for you; it will work for her if she works it.

Phil,

I have a real problem with the "One Year Rule" in AA, as it is unequally applied. However, sponsoring someone after four months of dryness seems like rushing it big time.

There are MANY other things you can be to someone as a "fresh start." You can even study the Big Book and go through the steps with other recovering drunks, but as equals. If you study alongside someone, instead of "teaching them," you are more apt to gain deeper knowlege. It also gets rid of the whole "you know more than them" mystique.

Wayne-

I don't want to be her sponsor. I just want to be her friend and be of support. I do not want to feel responsible if I steer her in a direction that is not a good one. I am having problems with recognizing my character defects and there are many. I want to help her and not hurt her.

Well wayne i wasnt dry at 4 months i was recovered and exp things beyond my wildest dreams that was my exp maybe your exp is different

There's little in the BB about sponsoring..... and I'm thinking of sponsoring a female.... any ideas on that?

I only sponsor one Woman; my wife. Most of the time she sponsor's me, though!!! LOL!!!

You can always tell her that anyone who sponsors themselves has a fool for a sponsee.

I think it's great that you can help her and be a good friend. Just be mindful of the situation and cautious putting your own sobriety first.