i got paid thursday from JOB seekers allowance, i looked n my account n my eyes popped outta my head i had more money in there than i expected, or wanted, n i was thinking 'wat am i goinga do with all this cash, i gave my mum wat i owed her n had over 100 left, i tried to hold on to it for a day, n i thawt i was gonig on hte rite track, i was finally trying to learn how to handle money, yesterday i dont know wat happenned, i went into the shopto buy cigs n a packet of crisps, n isaw booze section at the corner of my eyes, i tried to avoid eye contact but my legs started waslkin down the booze section n i bought so much alcohol , its all jus a blur, i was drinking vodka n suddwenly i jus lost it n started smashin my house up, throwin ornaments against the wall with my full power, shouting for help, now i have a fiver to my name, i cant believe i wasted all that money on booze, i owke up this morning n empty bottles in my living room n my bedroom n it made me phyiscally sick, its quite weird when i have no money i do everything i can to get a drink but wen i hv money something inside is different its almost like im scared to have it coz i know i wont ever stop till the cash runs out, so i do0nt think il b leaving ds for a while , i need a bit of support rite now coz i can do this alone no more i really cant
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