It's been my experience since being in recovery that if I'm working a good program there are two things I can always count on from God: His blessings and His protection. That's given me a lot of comfort through the last decade or so, to know that my needs will always be taken care of and that I'll always be safe in a world which can sometimes be very dangerous and chaotic. For me, then, my connection with God is all-important, and so everyday I monitor this connection so that I can make sure it's as strong and clean as possible. Should something bad happen in my world the very first thing I do is evaluate my attitudes and behaviors, like a detective, trying to discover what it is exactly that's compromised my relationship with God and, at least temporarily, taken my out of The Garden of Eden. I've learned that when I make the proper adjustments, that experience of feeling blessed and protected always falls back into place. Me being human, however, and given as I am to old behaviors, means that I have to constantly work at it, but that's work I can ill-afford to neglect. I've neglected it before, and it's always left me feeling weak and vulnerable, like a man with a giant target on his back, begging for trouble and misfortune. So today I do whatever it takes to keep my spiritual life solid and clean--no drinking, no drugging, daily prayer, reaching out to others, and trying to free my life of dishonest or selfish motives. Though to some such an obsession with staying spiritually fit my seem somewhat neurotic, it's hard to argue with the results--the many blessings I've received--and continue to receive--since doing Step Three and turning my life over to God as I understand Him. There's definitely something good going on there, and I think I'd be a fool to mess with it.
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