Hi everyone ... I love my boyfriend. He is a wonderful man who has so much going for him - when he is sober. His IQ is off the charts, he is an incredibly talented musician, he loves me like I have never experienced in my life. But I know I am second. Second to his addiction of alcohol. Long before I knew him he used heroin. Since quitting heroin cold turkey (it killed him once and they were able to save him), he has been searching for a subsitute for that high. Alcohol, drugs (cocaine, pills) were used to excess in search of that ultimate heroin high. To no avail. He has tried rehabs, AA to stop - also to no avail. I have known him for 11 months - and he and I have made future plans. The last few days he hit rock bottom. In brief, his alcohol consumption within the last few days was out of control. He got into a fight and put in protective custody one night, the next night he borrowed my car, drank himself into oblivion, met a girl and her boyfriend at a bar and was told the girl had diabetes and anxiety (so that let me know she had needles and most likely something like xanex at home), he went back to their house and proceeded to shoot up xanex, stole the rest of her bottle, and peaced out the door. He then passed out and parked my car in the middle of the road and fell asleep. Cops came, startled him, he stepped on gas and creamed the cop car and a telephone pole - totalling my car and only transportation. I got the call at 2:30 am - sigh. He got arrested and spent the night in jail. He was high and drunk for about 24 hours. Does not remember a thing (including calling my mother to report that her daughter, me, is a drug addict because I stole the bottle of Xanex from him and RETURNED it to the rightful owner ... he thought I took it to take them to my own head - which I have no interest ... I'm a recovering food addict (gone from a obese person down to 125 pounds). He explained that he thought everyone had the same compulsion as him and could not imagine me taking the pills and not wanting to do them. Just like it is very hard for me to see someone have certain kinds of food in their houses and not have voices screaming at them to get rid of them somehow by shoving them down their throats. Ok. So, this was his rock bottom. And I can tell you all that it sure as hell was mine. I told him that I can only control myself - not him. I cannot save him. He said he will seek help as we both know he can't do it on his own. He is thinking about suboxome treatment. Anyone have any advice for me and for him? I forget if I've mentioned this but he has been addicted to substances for years (he is 29), he has been to rehab, AA - but nothing within the past ten years. Should I just leave him until he is sober (he has been sober for the last two days and is experiencing minor symptoms but I think the worst is yet to come). Again, any advice for him to get through this (from those of you who have been in his shoes) and for me would be appreciated more than you know. Thank you!
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