okay... opened the fridge to get something to eat, it was stocked with beer. back to square one. i want to stop, i know its way past time, but i see something to drink and i reach for it. there wasn't even any hesitation. i tell myself at least i'm drinking slow. two hours, two beers. thats a big step up but it sure as hell isn't quitting. i don't think its gonna work on my own. not looking for attention, not writing a sob story. frustrated with myself, thats for sure. i guess thats what addictions all about, huh? you'd think i would have learned after having problems with so many others (perscription meds (not my own), speed, coke, even cigarettes). i got over all of them though, except cigarettes. i just don't know how this is so hard to kick. its harder than coke was. i just don't get it...
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