
Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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I'm terrified and also very relieved that tomorrow I plan on calling people I've hurt while under the influence and apologizing.
There's no real easy way to do it, I suppose. I just have to own up, be real, be honest and genuine, and take what they have to say back.
I'll probably hear so much that I don't want to. But then again, they did not deserve my asshole-ish shenanigans.
Does anyone here have any experience with this that they could add?
There's no real easy way to do it, I suppose. I just have to own up, be real, be honest and genuine, and take what they have to say back.
I'll probably hear so much that I don't want to. But then again, they did not deserve my asshole-ish shenanigans.
Does anyone here have any experience with this that they could add?
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I have wanted to do this many times in my early sobriety and did, tentatively, try it on occassion and was so deflated with the response. I am now working with my sponsor to work up to this.
Why set yourself up for heartache when you do not need it? IMO, put all your energy into staying sober 'one day at a time'.
Yesterday is history, today is a gift and tomorrow is a mystery :)
bear & bear made good points though. when you start to make calls like that you need to be strong enough to handle the possible outburst's
Focus on yourself first. get yourself straight and THAN move on to everyone else.
words can be devastating, but they can also be meaningless. the best way to show people you are serious about sobriety is to be sober. and show them that
I worked closely with a sponsor on the steps and didn't rush my amends. once you work through the 4 & 5 steps...and become WILLING to make amends. I waited until I had been sober for awhile and then only made amend face to face..As far as the backlash goes, I found most people very happy to see me getting healthy. A few may not want to hear your amends, at which case you have done all that is required of you. If someone chooses not to accept your amends, then the ball lands in their lap....not yours. As I was told in my AA meetings....you only pay the phone bill once
I got sober through AA and the 12 step recovery programme has a specific step with which to deal with amends owed. At the moment, you cannot be sure that you will not drink again, therefore, it is possible that you will behave badly.
It is better to wait before you do some apologising, you've probably had to apologise to people before and this one won't be any different if you do it now.
I understand this desire to put everything right immediately but this desire is born of selfishness because it's about you wanting to feel better - to purge yourself of the guilt, shame and remorse. If you hold back for a while you will be able to make amends to people with the right motives - this will enhance your spiritual condition.
If you haven't already, please do give AA a try and if I can help in any way just pm me!
Lyn
I went to the same people I always apologised to say "I'm sorry". One of them said "sit down, I'm gonna tell you how sorry you really are"
Please, don't be in a hurry. The results will most likely not "go your way".
If you haven't tried AA, as mentioned above, please go to a meeting. What have you got to lose by trying it? Godspeed
A living amend is an unspoken change in your way of live and behaviour. It is about action speaking louder than words. Want to apologize to friends and family? Instead, SHOW them that you are taking action and changing.
One of the steps of AA is to make amends to all persons we had harmed and this is done with the guidance of a sponsor. (I can only speak to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous because it is the only thing that got be sober).
If you decide to go through with apologies, don't make any promises. Just own up to your "asshole-ish" behaviour.
Good Luck, Michele
The person you were when you were drinking is not the person you are when you are sober. God bless!
Please know that taking your amends to any harmed person, including yourself is nothing to have shame with. You are a flawed human being like the rest of us. No on deserves our shit when we go funky. I never believe that these situations when bad things happen are meant to hurt and destroy. However, I think anyone acknowledging this in any way shape or form is showing soulful and mindful growth. It's tough but you will be so happy that you did and hopefully they will too.
The main thing sister, is let God be in control!
I suggest starting with the changes to yourself. Don't be in a big hurry to try to "fix" the past. Without changing who/what we are today, we cannot change the context for viewing the past, and cannot change how the past projects into today.
My experience parallels ScarletAngels. I did the 8th and 9th steps in AA. By the time I did them, I had changed enough of my behavior (and been sober awhile), that it wasn't received (by most) as an empty promise. Instead, it was a reinforcement of the living amends they had seen already.
Phil
I just hate feeling how I had been feeling for so long.