Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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anonymity

deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm having a problem with my sponsor. There are times when I'm talking with him that he likes to talk about his other sponsees and what's going on with them. I know that it's just gossip but it can be harmful if told to the wrong person. The latest time was on saturday. I mentioned to him earlier about going to a concert in a few days. It just so happens that he's a pharmacist. I called him at work and we were talking and he asked me who it was that I was going to see.I told him who it was. He replied, "That's a hell of a coincidence, I'm filling a prescription for him right now".I'm sort of torn about what I should do now. Should I find a new sponsor or just let him know that what he's doing upsets me?
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh man...i hate it when that happens...i had a sponsor once and she practically told me her other sponsees 5th step! i was shocked...i ended up getting a new sponsor. i mean, if she is talking about others...she will probably talk about me.

anonymity is such a valuable part of this program and it should be up to the member to break theirs or not. of course, bill wilson talks about the importance of not remaining 'too anonymous' to the point that no one knows where to go for help...because everyone is so anonymous.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can't change a leopards spots. I would start looking for another sponsor. One that is "right for you". You have that right to choose someone who has the same values as you do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
had a sponsor too that did me wrong...got to remember that they are just people too, I guess...some sicker that others.

You know...you could mention to him that that person who you were going to go see in concert should have been left anonymis (he broke the law there!), and that you are concerned that he could do the same with you. I don't think I could trust him still tho, but to confront him could be an eyeopener to him!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think it is a good idea to have a conversation with him about it. (Don't let any resentments build on your end.)

We all should feel good about our confidence in our sponsors. If you have difficulty trusting after this, and the relationship cannot be rebuilt, then I would look for a new one.

Good Luck to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'd have a talk with him about it. I've had that expirience and what I have found is that most people talk about people behind their backs. I just try to keep my side of the street clean. I give others a chance if they continue with the behavior I have to make a choice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Rob, yes. Keep our side of the street clean.

When I did my 4th step with my sponsor, he pointed out where I was did play a roll in my resentments list. I didn't even know I did with a lot of the people on my list.

When I keep honest, and don't even gossip!, I am FREE! I hold my head high, and right from wrong comes easily!

Your sponsor could benifit from doing his 4th step again. You will one day help many as your heart for people sounds like it's in the right place.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I only had one sponsor like that, my 4th sponsor when I was living in Springfield, Missouri. I talked to him about it and he continued to tell me about his other pigeons. I finally got rid of him... I sponsor ppl today and one of the things thats making them find sobriety is the old saying of what is said here stays here. Good rule of thumb. I have one sponsee just celebrated 5 years and is now starting to sponsor his own ppl. Since you already mentioned to him on at least one occasion I would start looking for another sponsor.. get two if need be...You can never have too many of them suckers...Might keep you sober.
ktharp423
ktharp423
That's unfortunate Jeff, I think you should talk to him about it first, then find another sponsor. Him telling you about filling the Rx was not only completely unethical, it was illegal. You might want to start there and tell him that by him telling you that you felt a bit uncomfortable, you'd have rather not known. Maybe the next time he breeches confidentiality like that it could cause him a law suit (I don't mean threaten him, I mean the next person might not be so forgiving).
I'd start looking for another sponsor because I would never be able to trust someone who could do that. It's not like he didn't know, he knows what he does is confidential.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just wanted to thank everyone for their replies. The last time that I talked to him was on monday after the meeting. I have thought about going to different meetings but I do like my homegroup. I know that i shouldn't let him keep me from going to meetings.I chair a meeting every other monday and I don't want to give that up.But maybe I should go to meetings somewhere else for a while.
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