Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

3,766 Members
33,424 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Alcoholism Support Group

Alcohol and relationships

deleted_user
deleted_user
I just realized I am definitely an Alcoholic.
The reason I know this is because all of my romantic relationships seem to be centered around alcohol. I will say things while I am drinking and the next day I regret it. Mainly telling someone that I love them. I also seem to agree with everything while I am drinking even though I know that had I been sober I would not. This always leads to painful breakups and they are beginning to send me into a deep depression. I know that if I cannot stop drinking my chances of finding a true life partner is basically zero. I plan on going to an AA meeting as soon as I can find one close that fits my schedule. I have heard wonderful things about AA and I want to find a sponsor as soon as possible. As for now I have been sober for 3 days. As they say "one day at a time". Amen
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes, you are right about being unable to hold onto a relationship when you a drinker. They say it is recommended that you stay out of a relaationship for a year after you sober up. To be able to focus on yourself only. Good luck, my friend, my prayers are w/ you and family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for the encouragement. God bless you. I know what I need to do but staying away from alcohol also means meeting someone that either does not drink or drinks very little.
deleted_user
deleted_user
do yourself a favor, for now surround yourself with people that Don't drink. You need to get rid of the partner you have now(alcohol) before even thinking of a partner for life.
ktharp423
ktharp423
I remember coming into the rooms of AA a broken woman and I completely surrendered to this disease.
It's 13 years later, I'm married to a man who has not had a drink in 17 years, we have 2 beautiful children. Finding someone who doesn't drink isn't as hard as we would think it would be (while drinking).

First things first, good luck finding an AA meeting. I suggest you raise your hand and share that you're new, you'll be approached by good people after the meeting.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ironically I suspect I used alcohol to avoid relationships. How weird is that? I never let anyone get too close or they would see how much I drank. Now I'm trying to get sober but I have to say a relationship is the last thing on my mind. I gotta conquer sober first. An AA friend told me you stop growing up emotionally when you have that first drink. I figure I'm about 14 years old emotionally, LOL. Gotta get sober, grow up and then maybe I'll think about a relationship. Good luck to you on the getting sober and finding an AA meeting. I can certainly see where drinking can seriously screw up any relationship. Apparently life begins anew when we quit. Something to look forward to. Hang in there.
meandthebeast
meandthebeast
You know, I use to tell my friends I hung with that alcohol and relationships dont mix, so I chose to stay away from relationships. Little did I know back then that it would be so hard to stay away from the alcohol. Its hard but its that or probably health problems or death.. Scarey.. 2 days sober..
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are all wonderful and I so appreciate the encouragement. It looks like its going to be some time before I date again.
I need to concentrate on healing and staying as far away from drinking as possible. Only then can I begin to live a life of purpose and meaning.

Thank you so much
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its the old thing Alcohol and relationships don't mix, tell me I had enough of both.

Congrats on your 3 days, and hey I agree with others, concenytrate on you for a while, concentrate on sobriety, the good things will follow.

Good luck - trickey
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have ben sober for a bit over 3 years and was married to a normie a year ago that ended and i still didnt drink yet my personal itentity is 12 step based it took time to be a whole person and allow others to enter that realm
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dude,
You are definately heading in the right direction. Keep in mind that the lower power does not want you to quit drinking and will do everything he can to keep you from getting sober. Get to AA....get a sponsor....work the steps...THEN you will be ready to love a woman the way that God would have you love her.

Guru
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate to your situation. I have not been in a relationship for some time. I thought I would never fill the deep emptiness I had inside. I have been sober for 11 days. I am beginning to see the alcohol was a huge cause of the emptiness. Now I attend meetings regularly and have made new, meaningful friends who understand me and support me. I definitely don't feel lonely and empty. I look forward to my meetings and growing sober relationships each day. Best of luck to you. Please try your best to find a meeting. I feel it will be very beneficial for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
great topic....and so true, when ur alcoholic, then ALCOHOL is ur only true partner. at least it was like that for me. congrates on ur 3 days, u should b very PROUD of urself.--peace
deleted_user
deleted_user
4 Days today!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Woohoo! Congrats on making it four days! Keep up the good work.
rainyangel
rainyangel
I hear ya. I'm 6 days sober myself and also want to start AA and get a sponsor. All of my relationships, if you can call them that, were surrounded by drugs or alcohol. Almost everytime I had sex I was drunk. I did and said alot of things drunk that I wouldn't have sober. Sometimes you sober up and wonder what the hell are you doing with this person?
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GrassIsGreen

    acknowlodging

    Posted by: GrassIsGreen
    Last Reply: GrassIsGreen
    15
    I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: MayB
    7908
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??