Well that's tricky, Trickey (sorry - I couldn't help myself). The last thing you want to do is to enable this person-so if he continues to drink you should not let him stay with you. I think the best you can do is point him in the right direction, get him a meeting book, take him to some meetings and wish him luck. You cannot carry him - he has to do that himself.

I agree with LindaJean...either he gets sober or kick his a$$ out. Any help you provide like taking him to a meeting is great!

fr what ive come to learn about u since bein on DS, u seem to have ur sh*t pretty well 2gether. (really sound like a great guy, 2) neway, i have faith that u will no what to do for ur frnd and just how far u can go w/tryin to help him. i wish u the best w/this. i kno how it feels to care about someone (very close-4 me) who is struggling miserably and wanna help more than nething! but we both kno that WE can only do so much for THEM. they gotta get it themselves eventually, rite?

I think its great that you have a chance to help one of your friends. I have my fingers crossed that this is the time he'll be ready to quit.

Thanks Guys, I do not intend to carry him, as I do not feel that will help him or me, at the moment he is still sleeping, obviously feeling very sorry for himself.

I am hoping that he is ready, he came to me last night and spoke very frankly, spent all his money again, told me he was just sleeping in all day, his health was feeling crap, probably the most he has ever opened up, during the past 3 years I have never tried to make him stop, all I have ever said is when your ready come and see me, well here he is, I truly hope that he means it, because he is a lot more ill than he realises.

I do agree that we can take a horse to water, then its up to him.

All your words are precious, I shall give him my best, but will not allow him to affect my sobriety.

Got another friend onboard that knows him, she is in sobriety to.

I will let all know how the day goes, and I am sure I will find out just how commited he is.

Thank you all.

And have a great day everybody.

Oh reply No 1, love your opening statement, Thanx

I will explain my Nickname one day, some people do call me that

Trickey

He is very lucky to have a friend like you in his life. Just remember that you have to make sure you take care of you first and if his addiction starts to affect you, then you need to send him on his way. Other than that, you are doing the right thing...Hopefully he can get into detox and really start his journey to a life of sobriety. Good Luck....to your friend also XXX Lisa

Thank you everyone, so far so good, he must be 16 hours sober now, took him to a lunch time meeting, whether he got the message I don't know.

Booked him in to our local alcohol drug team at 9am in the morning, if he gets there he may stand a chance.

Whats the saying a friend in need, well this boy is in need, he is very quite and I think reflecting on the trail of mess that he has left behind him.

Maybe this time, but I know him and it is 50?50, but thats the best odds I have given him so far.

Wishing you all well

Trickey

Be there to support him but don't get to close, you need to stey safe. All you can do is give him a little help or some suggestions along the way the rest must be up to him, we can't get any 1 soba they must do it for themseleves. Be careful good luck SOBAS BETTA

Yep, we can carry the message but not the alcoholic.

It's been said "If someone wants sobriety, there's nothing you can do or say that will be wrong - If somebody doesn't want sobriety, there's nothing you can do or say that will be right."

Has he had enough? Has he drank his 40 barrels? Only God knows. But by helping him, YOUR staying sober. Just watch your boundries.

JMRH

Guys you are all correct, tomorrow morning shall tell.

I cannot be here to push him as I have to be else where, He has an appointment with a local drug & alcohol centre.

The road he chooses will be his then.

Thanks for your support all, who know's this could yet be a lost cause, but if someone comes and says, Help, then I can only try and give it, only if its for a short while.

Be good to see what does happen as this Guy has got his life in his own hands right now.

But carry him, I cannot.

Keep well all

Trickey

You've received some good advice, and it sounds like you're doing everything right. I would suggest that if he misses his appointment in the morning that he has to leave. You did your part, now if he doesn't do his your part is over.
I hope everything turns out well.

Thank you all for your kind words of support.

Today I had commitments, so I decided to leave him to his own devices.

I am happy to say that he made his appointment, has been allocated an alcohol support counsellor, and his various options of Detox and maybe rehab have been discused.

So it sounds that todat has been a big step for him, its late here so I will not call him till the morning, when I will see how is thinking of progressing his situation.

I would have liked to have been there for him today, but decided that my life must go on, that I can support but not nurse him

Well congratulations!! It sounds like you handled that one just right. I think it's good that you weren't there - this way he knows he did it himself. You did a lot for him - good for you!

Thanks all again.

It seems good, good, good.

He came himself to see me this morning, he had had another night on the grog, but I expected that, he looked as though he had been run over by a fleet of buses and he continues to feel very sorry for himself.

He got to his appointment, and he is sseing a Doctor next wednesday, to continue his Journey, from there they are going to look at detox and rehab, and then I expect introduce him to the AA.

They have said that they will offer him Detox after Xmas, but will monitor his health in the meantime.

I can live with that, I feel that he has now made the first big step that he has thought about for 3 years.

Maybe a little bit of madness, between now and when he gets treatment will reinforce his desire.

And it is good for me as I have now handed over, to those that can give him the imeadiate medical help he so much needs.

I hope many more find their way.

Have a great day

trickey