Hello all. I found this site by accident. I have 36 days sober today and I am depressed and I want to drink, but I realize I can't. I spent most of 2017 in a bottle (Vodka) with several TERRIBLE binges that lasted over hard drinking weeks to several weeks. My health and life is on the line....and I am reaching out. I don't want to die. I had 11 years sober in the 90's (1991 to 2002) and It was never this hard and I never felt this bad. I am taking it moment to moment. I don't want to drink.
I have been with the same guy for almost 8 years now. Nothing has changed, our relationship has not grown or strenghtened if anything it has worsened over the years. As I have grown into a different and stronger person over the years I look at him and see no future anymore. I have always hoped we would buy a home, get married and have kids. But I know that is not our future together at least with...