I know that if I continue drinking that it's going to ruin my life not to mention my health. I already feel so many effects from it. Blackouts, problems with short term memory, high blood pressure. AA so far does not work for me. I don't understand how reading a passage out of a book and then everyone talking about their experiences with that passage is going to help me to not want to take a drink that night. I don't drink every night but when I do I drink an entire pint of bourbon. Sometimes I miss work or the kids are late to school or miss entirely. So far noone seems to know that there's anything wrong. I'm alone and don't have a support system. The people that do know or that I've turned to in the past pretend they don't know or have turned away completely. I have a full-time job, go to college half-time, and I am a single mother of three great kids. To most of the world I'm this fully functioning person. It's often amazed me how blind people can be. I tried to tell my AA sponsor about my drinking (I was just starting AA), like when I drink and what, when my "critical" times were so she would know when I was most at risk and she very politely told me tha we did no need to talk about my drinking. That would come later in step three or four. I've never even gotten past step one.
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