I've been reading alot of the recent posts on AA and it has stirred up alot of feelings for me. I am a decent mother and wife, a christian and try to be a good person to others. I believe already that there is a higher power that created me and the way I am, so my problem is this... I believe in God and my understanding is that he already has his little book of life and he knows exactly when and how I will die. So, if he created me to be an alcoholic and it is already written that that is how my life will end, what does it matter what I do now? I mean this is such a struggle! I've prayed and prayed for years, but I have found no release from this prison. I'm wanting to order the big book, but I wonder if it will even do me any good. Does someone have some advice or comments on this?
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