I am realizing that I don't think I am much "fun" unless I am drinking. My true personality comes out when I am dronking, and that really scares me and saddens me. It makes me wonder who the fuck I am, and why can I not feel comfortable in my own skin? Truthfully, I have been drinking for so long now, that I don't know who I am without it. It has been woven into the fabric of my being - yet, I hate that part of myself. Talk about low self-esteem; I am a POSTER CHILD. I go to meetings and I feel like a phony. I really do have a "desire to stop drinking" and that is the only requirement for membership, but I have much deeper issues, and I do not know how to resolve them.
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