I've been staying with a friend for the last month or so and to say that her computer sucks would be an understatement. Every time I tried to get on the internet was an excuse to start drinking again (just kidding kind of). Besides being super slow it would lock up on me after a few pages leading to 15 or 20 minutes of working to get back on line. Finally I decided to work on her computer sunday and even though I am technically challenged I seem to have done something right so that I'm back on line.

Staying with her has been a real eye opener for me. Her ex boyfriend is a hard core practicing alcoholic and I've heard some of the things that happened during their relationship. I've also heard her talking to him on the phone and she shows me the text messages that he sends her and I think OMG that was me in the past. I never did drink as much as he does but I see a lot of similarity in his behavior and thought process as when I was drinking and it embarresses me. It embarresses me because we have known each other for 45 years and she was around for some of the worst years of my drinking career. She knows that I use to be just like him. It's like looking into a mirror and seeing something that isn't pretty. I can't believe that she hooked up with another me.

The first couple of weeks we were together she kept looking at me and asking me if I was for real. She couldn't believe the changes that I had made. I still think that she has doubts about me but at least she has stopped questioning me. Now I'm getting embarressed because of how often she brags about me. Not complaining.

Anyway I hope that I'm back on line for good. Thinking about getting a new laptop to make sure because I've started an online course to learn a new way of making a living. I'm still unemployed and have decided that it's time for a career change. Still hope to get called back to work but I'm looking for something that I can do at home in a couple of years.