No one specific person I need to avoid btw-

Just wanted to hear what others do to avoid toxic people in their lives.

86 them, I say! Who needs 'em! Some are easier to "do away" with than others ... lol. Not literally, of course!

There's a handful of people on this site that I'd love to spend a day with ... and you're one of 'em, Marie. Don't let them negative Nellie's get ya down. You're right, it ain't about you ... and you probably can't fix 'em. I've walked away from friendships that weren't healthy for me ... a girlfriend that kept going back to an ex that was abusive to her, comes to mind right off the bat. Not once or twice, mind you, but many, many times. It was just too hard to witness again and again. We actually had a heart to heart about it. How I couldn't stand to watch her get hurt again and again. Years later, we ran into each other again. Long story short ... she's moved on from the loser and we have become friends again.

Positive begets positive and all that happy crap ... so remain positive and hopefully it'll rub off on those around you. xo

I agree. I read somewhere that just being around a happy positive person (not just a delusional one!) will lift all boats. We ARE affected emotionally AND physically by the people around us. Laughter begets laughter and I certainly believe that negative, sour people have a very negative effect on us. It does get sticky when we THINK we can help.....ease their burdens and give them wisdom..............we just aren't that powerful.

Absolutely. One negative person can drag down even the most optimistic of us.

Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself- is this person good for me? If they aren't, the best thing for both of you may well be to let them walk out of your life.

Aww thanks Jan.

I just know that I do not want to be a toxic person. I know I get that way when I feed into negativity. Laughter does beget laughter poo. It is hard to be around folks who dwell in misery-sometimes when I am down too, I join them. I am making a concerted effort today to not do this!

I honestly do not mind being around folks who are struggling though. Hell, I am struggling often and need help! It is those who dwell in the misery and do not want to change that I need to decide to let go of.

Life is too short to be surrounded by toxic people and why should we, when there are so many lovely, kind people in the world to make our lives that much more enriched

I know what you mean Karmic- a while back I picked up a book titled "Emotional Vampires-Dealing with People who Drain you Dry"- because I was feeling "Toxic" from (as Jan-Michelle so eloquently stated) the negative nellies particularly at work. In a work situation (especially when you're a supervisor or manager) it becomes quite challenging to escape the effect of the toxic people. I have to consciously remind myself not to do anything to feed them- because they thrive on drawing blood; refuse to engage in argument, I do step in to avert attention when the toxic person is attempting to stir the emotional pot of others, and, well, I guess I pray for them that they will someday realize that they are centered in love and light and have the ability to co-create their own reality- they are choosing to be unhappy. Of course, that's coming from somone who just got back on anti-depressants because I couldn't stop choosing to be unhappy despite knowing I'm centered in love and light! LOL! Is that an oxy-moron?

I don't have any toxic people in my life right now, and that feels pretty damn good. I think that since I got sober I just don't engage with negative people much. Except on DS -- but even then most times I just roll my eyes and move on. (No one in this group -- there are some other groups I participate in where some people get nasty at times.)

i was 3 o4 years sober when i got one of those people out of my life...she was not only toxic but drunk alot of the time..even had to change my phone number but it was the best thing i could do...if we don't take care of ourselves, who will...thank God some peace in my life

So true, no time for it including family.. Just wasted energy
If I let toxic people screw with me Ineed to look at myself and ask why.

Nice twist A in A. If you ask my wife the answer would be YES.....LOL

I would think that almost certainly each of us is toxic to somebody.
That doesn't mean we're bad people. It means we aren't the right fit in a particular relationship. This sure helps explain why there are so very many personality types.

CP, totally agree, if I thought I wasn't toxic to some I would be totally self-centered and egotistical.

Arizona-we all have the capacity in us to be "toxic", ie, engage in unhealthy ways of relating to others. It is a daily thing every human must confront-their shadow or dark side. I dare say I have really learned to deal with things way more on the lighter healthy side of my being-but have had problems with folks around not supporting this. I do think some are addicted to toxic behavior, and are either in complete denial or just enjoy the negativity.

It is up to me, you, us..to decide if we want to wallow in negativity or not. I think we can help others and ourselves by interacting in healthy mature ways. And then when we don't, fix it and learn.

I have to say this thread help me tons today. I was invited to a dinner that had a few people who I just felt like crap around-brought me down and seemed to actually revel in the negative stuff. So you know what? The old me would have gone out of obligation and guilt that this is something I should go to and just put on a brave face. Not today-I told them I have other plans and this feels like a good choice-brings me peace to stand up for myself and say-"I would rather not be around these folks, bad for my mental health"....

Going to go to a free concert with my boys instead. :)

Good for you, Marie!