I struggle with the concept of abstinence forever. Mainly because I'm a binge drinker, i don't drink every day, I don't NEED or WANT to drink every day. But sometimes (not all the time either) when I drink, I get out of control. I become some other idiotic person who makes terrible, scary, dangerous decisions including doing cocaine. But this is 'occasional' like every 2 months or so. I don't believe I'm dependent or addicted to anything (except cigarettes). I just think its time for me to grow up, stop drinking like a college kid and drink like a normal person. And when these occasions happen, I feel so guilty and horrible and depressed I usually won't drink for around 2 weeks straight. Does anyone else feel this way?
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