I am a contradiction in terms. I desperately want to get out of the house, but can't do it alone. I am terrified everytime I go out with someone, and am so exhausted by the time I get home I just fall in a heap. I don't get out much because I have to rely on others to get out. I just freak out when I have to go anywhere outside the house, but am so desperately sick of being housebound, with no motivation and no desire to do anything. I can't think of anything that I get happiness from and feel like I am going downhill fast. The meds I am on are not working and I know I will have to make another change, but will they work and what are the side affects. I am so angry with myself for my feelings but can't get a grip on them. I just don't fit in anywhere.The reason I am alive today is my precious little dog, other than him, nothing matters any more.
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