today i was due to meet the blacksmith at 12pm.ive known for a week..ive been confident that i will be ok this time to travel the mile to my field..i have strengthened myself and prepared that this time my poor hubby wont be the one to sort my horses feet as he has no knowledge of them or feelings for them...but as 12pm approaches,my stomache starts churning,my breathing becomes hard leading to dizziness and heart palpitations..and at 12pm i wave my husband off on his short journey of 1 mile to see the blacksmith...he will be back within half an hour..i will put the kettle on and he can tell me all about it...while hes gone,i will cry so much,i dont feel i will stop..my guilt ridden body will tense..ive failed again...im a total waste of space....but tomorrow will be ok,i will be strong enough to feed my horses myself..specially as i dont have to meet anyone...
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...